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How long have you been single and what is the reason? by marcusdo

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· @marcusdo ·
How long have you been single and what is the reason?
<a href="https://musing.io/q/marcusdo/pkv6hxdx5"><b>How long have you been single and what is the reason?</b></a><p></p>
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@badoreaja ·
$0.44
How long have you been single and what is the reason?
I have been single for a few months now. And before that, I was single for over 5 years.

These are my reasons for being single:

I somehow end up with women who only see my flaws and amplify them (calling me out on them), while mostly ignoring the majority of positives I can offer (which are plenty, trust me). A relationship can’t work like this.
I have social anxiety, and I find it difficult to socialise in general, which means I hardly have channels to meet women I could potentially be with.
My relative inexperience with female interactions compared to most men my age (I am almost 31) has put me in a very confused state about women. I am quite clueless about what they want or prefer, and my previous point above does not really help in this regard. I come from a very conservative country where male-female interaction outside marriage is frowned upon (I don’t live there anymore), and this has certainly contributed towards my lack of experience with women.
Relationships take up too much time, especially if it is with the wrong person. And I have never been with someone who was ‘right’ for me, so I am not encouraged to put in all that time and effort, to eventually end up with nothing but emotional pain and misery.
Since I have been single for most part of my adult life, I have gotten used to it. I know very well that a relationship with the right person would be seamless, and there will not be too much ‘pressure’. But I’d rather enjoy my freedom and independence, instead of looking for this elusive ‘right person’ who may not even exist.
I do have my flaws, but who doesn't? No human is perfect. I have come to the realisation that the woman who truly understands me and accepts me with my flaws, while also appreciating the good stuff I have to offer, probably does not exist. And if such a woman does exist, she is either already taken, still hung up on her ex, or already crushing on someone else.
Considering all this, I have certainly made relationships/marriage just an option in my life, and not something that is absolutely required. I am not closing myself up to potential opportunities, but considering my situation it is unlikely to happen. And I am completely fine with it. There is a different kind of joy in solitude, and I am starting to embrace 
👍  ,
properties (23)
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json_metadata"{"app":"Musing","appTags":["Relationship"],"appCategory":"Relationship","appBody":"I have been single for a few months now. And before that, I was single for over 5 years.\n\nThese are my reasons for being single:\n\nI somehow end up with women who only see my flaws and amplify them (calling me out on them), while mostly ignoring the majority of positives I can offer (which are plenty, trust me). A relationship can’t work like this.\nI have social anxiety, and I find it difficult to socialise in general, which means I hardly have channels to meet women I could potentially be with.\nMy relative inexperience with female interactions compared to most men my age (I am almost 31) has put me in a very confused state about women. I am quite clueless about what they want or prefer, and my previous point above does not really help in this regard. I come from a very conservative country where male-female interaction outside marriage is frowned upon (I don’t live there anymore), and this has certainly contributed towards my lack of experience with women.\nRelationships take up too much time, especially if it is with the wrong person. And I have never been with someone who was ‘right’ for me, so I am not encouraged to put in all that time and effort, to eventually end up with nothing but emotional pain and misery.\nSince I have been single for most part of my adult life, I have gotten used to it. I know very well that a relationship with the right person would be seamless, and there will not be too much ‘pressure’. But I’d rather enjoy my freedom and independence, instead of looking for this elusive ‘right person’ who may not even exist.\nI do have my flaws, but who doesn't? No human is perfect. I have come to the realisation that the woman who truly understands me and accepts me with my flaws, while also appreciating the good stuff I have to offer, probably does not exist. And if such a woman does exist, she is either already taken, still hung up on her ex, or already crushing on someone else.\nConsidering all this, I have certainly made relationships/marriage just an option in my life, and not something that is absolutely required. I am not closing myself up to potential opportunities, but considering my situation it is unlikely to happen. And I am completely fine with it. There is a different kind of joy in solitude, and I am starting to embrace ","appDepth":2,"appParentPermlink":"pkv6hxdx5","appParentAuthor":"marcusdo","musingAppId":"aU2p3C3a8N","musingAppVersion":"1.1","musingPostType":"answer"}"
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vote details (2)
@jaineel ·
How long have you been single and what is the reason?
I am single because of my work i am busy in work and i have been not think of my future just i want to complete my dreams and goals to achieve success and this is the reason still i am single and we know after having marriage life there are lost of responsibilities which at the moment i am not capable to take such thing in my head so later i will think for this.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@opalemoku ·
How long have you been single and what is the reason?
I've been single for around ten months. I'd state there are a couple primary reasons. 

It was better for me (and for others) to take some time. 

I experienced the separation of a genuine relationship. It was (obviously) exceptionally agonizing. It additionally, for a period, influenced the way I saw myself and my kinships. I needed to take as much time as is needed (and help) to deal with those things. I knew it would be undesirable and out of line to get required with another person without setting aside the opportunity to work that stuff out. The uplifting news is, I comprehend those things and I feel greatly improved now. 

As I took a shot at handling the separation, I understood that a different fellowship was likewise strangely vanishing. This specific companion had said to me on one event "we'll be companions as long as you keep included", and on another "recall that, we're companions, you can simply converse with me about anything." Yet whenever I requested to talk, I was closed out. In some ways, that was really harder than the separation with my ex. That played out around three months prior, is still somewhat crude. 

I don't should be in simply any relationship for not being single. 

I need to ensure that when I get included with somebody once more, this is on account of I need to be with that individual, not "on the grounds that." 

I need to be (and I think I presently am) sufficiently agreeable with being single and making the most of my own advantages that I don't feel like I require "some person, anyone" to make me cheerful. I'm in charge of my own joy.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@rahulwasan ·
How long have you been single and what is the reason?
i am single for 24 years and never had any girlfriend , as i didnt find true love and i dont have money to just do time pass . i love myself , my company and i cant be in a relationship where someone controls me . 
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