Low self-esteem is a puzzling phenomena because it is so wide-spread and destructive, and at the same time, it is completely illogical. It’s a deep-seated belief that we are somehow fundamentally flawed and undeserving. Yet, it is often the smartest, kindest, most sensitive people who struggle with it the most.

Fortunately, self-esteem is a state of mind, not who you are, and that means you can change it. Here are some strategies that have worked wonders for me.

Working with Thoughts.

“You’ve been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” 
-Louise Hay

Notice how you talk to yourself.
For the next day or two, try catching yourself thinking negatively about yourself. Keep a paper and pen with you, and just make a small mark each time you think or say, “I’m so stupid”, “I can’t believe I said that,” “I can’t believe I did that,” “Ugh! Look at me,” “I can’t,” “I’m not smart enough,” “I’m not strong enough,” etc.. (You can also use a counter app. Just tap it each time you catch yourself, and it will give you the number at the end of the day.)

You will be shocked at how you bully yourself all day long without even realizing it. Simply noticing these thoughts will help lessen their power over you, and like any bully, your brain will get bored of them.

Change how you talk to yourself.
“Lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action.”
 -Tony Robbins

Now that you are able to identify the insults you hurl at yourself, it’s time to retrain your brain. For this, I like Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). It can be used for any type of negative rumination, but I find it works particularly well for raising self-esteem (and anxiety).

The idea behind CBT is that negative thoughts follow universal patterns of cognitive distortion that lead to false and exaggerated conclusions.