Claire's Crazy Cakes, Bakes and Kitchen Hacks: Chapter 10 - Homecooking with Crack by clairemobey

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hive-120586 · @clairemobey · Aug 17 '22

$7.97

Claire's Crazy Cakes, Bakes and Kitchen Hacks: Chapter 10 - Homecooking with Crack

![](https://images.ecency.com/DQmRiXgc55U52bhT8Y15JujSEyfjpukvRRnftJcrgBhpEFf/img_20200129_190650.jpg)


Before you run off to social services, call the local authorities or try to find a way to send me creepy DM's on prices and shipping, let me insert a disclaimer. Despite the purposefully misleading title, I do not, in fact cook crack at home.... at least not the kind you're thinking of 🤣

![](https://images.ecency.com/DQmbbNkw1KXYk7wsPsoqrT3PF13Lefdq6mdvepSBayyVeBd/120611953_10159330150120961_1419209938596554483_n.jpg)


|***Claire's Crack***    | ***Actual Crack Cocaine***|
|------------                    |------------|
|     *Ingredients:*         |    *Ingredients:* 
|Chillies (assorted to taste) | Whatever your dealer chooses to tell you: 99% not actual crack cocaine and mostly drain cleaner, or whatever they put in drugs  these days       
| Pure fresh garlic cloves    
|Olive oil  
|Garden herbs 


|*Claire's Crack: Side effects and stimulants:*|*Actual Crack: Side effects and stimulants:*|
|------------|------------|
|     Increased metabolism     |   psychosis    |
|increased immune defence     |weightloss due to you spending all your food  money on drugs  |
|Natural antibiotic          | Jail         |                                  
|Natural endorphine stimulant      |Death        |                                          
|Omega 3s and 6's        |   ...     |                   
|Vitamin C & D       |     ...   |                      
|F@#$$%  delicious       |   ...     |       
|   Addictive    |Addictive    |       

                 
                  
                             
                                              

So, humour aside,  friends of mine gave me this recipe (they're vegans, so lord knows they have to put lots of delicious stuff in their food, and it can't always be MSG). It is so incredibly good. Even if you're not a massive chilli lover, you can modify the amount of burn by how long you allow your final mixture to mature as well as which chillies you select and even your herb to garlic to chilli ratio. 

I do not want to give quantities here, because it all really depends on personal taste. 

My crack can be eaten literally on crackers, or used as a base for all kinds of dishes, from traditional Italian dishes to oriental and cajun-style cooking. Really, it's up to you to tweak the herbs and you can substitute the olive oil for a more subtle seed oil flavour.

![](https://images.ecency.com/DQmV8xxzNqMAcjJBHQUmukFYNfktnUpXZjaNjtMzvHHUVaP/img_20220817_wa0011.jpeg)




"Claire's Crack" is a staple in my kitchen and once it starts sautéing in the pan, the whole family knows they're going to be in for a treat.

It is labour intensive, and horrible to get in your eyes, so make sure you use a sharp knife for fast, effective, fine and accurate chopping. The longer your fingers are exposed to the chilli, the more it will sink into your fingers. I have almost died trying to take my contact lenses out HOURS after preparing this. Other precautions you can take would be to wear latex gloves and to wash your hands thoroughly, taking time to soak them in lemon juice (it neutralises the chillies).

![](https://images.ecency.com/DQmUm2sFir7txAWBBDyQMN5fYJx7jii6noSpUuSzybpWUvE/img_20220817_wa0016.jpeg)



You can use it straight away, but you will find the flavour matures and changes after a week or so. I store it in the fridge. There are no preservatives, so if you don't use it in time, it will start growing mould. Do not be stingy. Put it in EVERYTHING and remember that sharing is caring!!

![](https://images.ecency.com/DQmdACz1WECyeKK1wcVPqu31YNraYrHsjVZL7KSCPi6hJxR/img_20220817_wa0014.jpeg)



Stay tuned for more crazy hacks and recipes from my kitchen! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3


![](https://images.ecency.com/DQmcJj7tQJyGBDoXzekr1gydMGhF5oeGAyzqAYEDGiLxz4n/img_20201202_130342.jpg)

👍 steemed-proxy, curie, ecency, discovery-it, smartsteem, arcange, tomiscurious, stayoutoftherz, therising, therealwolf, mahdiyari, minnowbooster, meritocracy, lordvader, hive-143869, thecryptodrive, dhimmel, aries90, lemouth, rynow, gogreenbuddy, artsyproxy, aicu, diyhub, armandosodano, dcrops, brianoflondon, justyy, mad-runner, smartvote, altleft, meno, gianluccio, jerrybanfield, deepu7, detlev, carolineschell, superlotto, sorin.cristescu, thelittlebank, cleanplanet, alonicus, bartosz546, investingpennies, good-karma, punchline, eric-boucher, nicole-st, fengchao, steemcryptosicko, irgendwo, aabcent, robibasa, dimascastillo90, yehey, cnfund, revo, maruskina, peterale, lilacse, mammasitta, bitrocker2020, quinnertronics, federacion45, and 474 others

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ciuoto	2,713,624,334	13.5%
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xanderslee	823,173,003	12.32%
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kenadis	1,644,160,678	6.16%
esaia.mystic	808,247,078	12.32%
marcolino76	2,590,718,846	13.5%
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duke77	2,269,778,128	10%
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sco	1,252,452,928	4.92%
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gordon92	1,897,319,279	6.16%
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payger	712,376,317	6.16%
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shinedojo	1,585,986,604	12.32%
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fantasycrypto	4,799,193,778	6.16%
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rodrigocassio	889,628,449	100%
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qberry	7,783,301,235	6.16%
frissonsteemit	2,663,395,103	6.16%
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greddyforce	581,227,027	4.55%
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blainjones	1,045,826,885	1.23%
c0wtschpotato	1,319,973,456	6.16%
therising	217,472,142,922	12.32%
cryptocoinkb	4,701,659,545	6.16%
gogreenbuddy	78,903,031,908	12.32%
spaghettiscience	17,369,732,737	27%
lilacse	21,628,618,106	100%
achimmertens	16,103,828,481	6.16%
lorenzopistolesi	18,248,920,719	6.16%
mariusfebruary	1,522,403,625	4.92%
outtheshellvlog	1,957,564,655	6.16%
sawyn	1,521,147,095	6.16%
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indigoocean	2,829,016,256	6.16%
bafi	1,283,065,369	27%
phage93	2,219,596,495	27%
veteranforcrypto	614,253,087	1.84%
nashvegas	750,238,392	6.16%
anneporter	1,536,369,267	6.16%
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diabonua	11,101,701,853	6.16%
jmjury	918,770,386	6.16%
stevenwood	6,327,970,269	4.1%
magicquokka	509,884,324	6.16%
motherofalegend	1,824,342,973	6.16%
doctor-cog-diss	3,739,751,318	4.92%
steemxp	755,525,207	6.16%
cooltivar	5,230,460,065	21.6%
uche-nna	10,609,643,719	9.85%
niouton	698,238,429	2.46%
diosmarymaiz1	1,179,422,987	6.16%
deepu7	41,607,969,685	7.5%
hardaeborla	843,745,229	6.16%
council	556,954,952	12.32%
konradxxx3	591,759,532	6.16%
cheese4ead	8,440,557,269	6.16%
gaottantacinque	247,248,555	100%
longer	985,382,006	3.08%
blewitt	3,940,056,239	0.73%
nathyortiz	1,977,479,058	6.16%
steemian258	697,836,832	6.16%
nattybongo	4,735,324,433	27%
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@alonicus · Aug 17 '22

I'm not a big chilli person, but that looks amazing !  Now, if you could come up with a version that includes the weight loss aspect of actual crack, that would be even better 😁

Might have to make some of this up and try putting it on !PIZZA

👍 clairemobey

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@clairemobey · Aug 18 '22

It TOTALLY has a weight-loss aspect. Many, actually! The chillies speed up your metabolism which means you burn calories faster. The great flavor and the omegas from the olive oil also contribute to the feeling of being satisfied and the sting from the chilli actually prevents you from over eating. ❤️ Sold yet??

properties (22)

@alonicus · Aug 18 '22

Definitely sold on the idea !  I'm a total wimp when it comes to chillies, so I might have to wrap my tongue in cling film or something, or start by making a mild version and work up from there (extra garlic is tempting, I'd make a terrible vampire).

properties (22)

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@discovery-it · Aug 17 '22

<div class="pull-left">https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmTAn3c753LR7bHCLPo96g9UvRMaPFwaMYn8VQZa85xczC/discovery_logo_colore%20-%20Copia.png</div><br> This post was shared and voted inside the discord by the curators team of <a href="https://discord.gg/cMMp943"> discovery-it</a> <br>Join our community! <a href = "https://hive.blog/trending/hive-193212"> hive-193212</a><br>Discovery-it is also a Witness, vote for us <a href = "https://hivesigner.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=discovery-it&approve=true"> here</a>  <br>Delegate to us for passive income. Check our <a href = "https://hive.blog/hive-193212/@discovery-it/delegations-program-80-fee-back"> 80% fee-back Program</a> <hr>

👍 clairemobey

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@diyhub · Aug 17 '22

<div class="pull-right"><a href="https://steempeak.com/trending/hive-189641"><img src="https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmV9e1dikviiK47vokoSCH3WjuGWrd6PScpsgEL8JBEZp5/icon_comments.png"></a></div>

###### Thank you for sharing this amazing post on HIVE!

- Your content got selected by our fellow curator @stevenson7 & you just received a little thank you via an upvote from our **non-profit** curation initiative!

- You will be **featured in** one of our recurring **curation compilations** and on our **pinterest** boards! Both are aiming to offer you a **stage to widen your audience** within and outside of the DIY scene of hive.

**Join** the official [DIYHub community on HIVE](https://peakd.com/trending/hive-189641) and show us more of your amazing work and feel free to connect with us and other DIYers via our discord server: https://discord.gg/mY5uCfQ !

If you want to support our goal to motivate other DIY/art/music/homesteading/... creators just delegate to us and earn 100% of your curation rewards!

###### Stay creative & hive on!

👍 clairemobey

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@ecency · Aug 17 '22

Your content has been **voted** as a part of [Encouragement program](https://ecency.com/ecency/@good-karma/encouragement-program-continues-82eafcd10a299). Keep up the good work! <br><br>Use Ecency daily to boost your growth on platform! <br><br><b>Support Ecency</b><br>[Vote for new Proposal](https://hivesigner.com/sign/update-proposal-votes?proposal_ids=%5B197%5D&approve=true)<br>[Delegate HP and earn more](https://ecency.com/hive-125125/@ecency/daily-100-curation-rewards)

👍 clairemobey

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@grecyg · Aug 17 '22

I think I will do that too. I love garlic,  I love mild chilli but this one will make a food to taste good

👍 clairemobey

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@clairemobey · Aug 17 '22

The chilli gets milder the longer you leave it, but the flavour increases. It's super delicious. I actually allow mine to ferment a bit, to be honest. I don't know how good that is for you, but I figure the chilli and garlic will murder anything dodgy.

properties (22)

@hivebuzz · Aug 18 '22

Congratulations @clairemobey! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s):

<table><tr><td><img src="https://images.hive.blog/60x70/http://hivebuzz.me/@clairemobey/upvotes.png?202208181125"></td><td>You distributed more than 2000 upvotes.<br>Your next target is to reach 3000 upvotes.</td></tr>
</table>

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👍 clairemobey

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@jasperdick · Aug 17 '22

That stuff sounds lethal - a bit of lemon as well?  Oh well, a glass of milk on hand solves most chilli burns!

👍 clairemobey

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@clairemobey · Aug 17 '22

The lemon is to neutralize the chilli residue on your fingers incase you touch your eyes or nether-regions 😜

It does taste nice when mixed with lemon too though, but it depends on what your cooking, so I wouldn't add it to the whole batch.

Also, some herbs are more versatile than others, like parsley. Basil would suit more Italian style dishes and fennel would suit well.. What ever the hell fennel suits.

Milk is the best cure for burnt mouths though,  for sure!

👍 jasperdick

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@pizzabot · Aug 17 '22 (edited)

RE: Claire's Crazy Cakes, Bakes and Kitchen Hacks: Chapter 10 - Homecooking with Crack

<center>PIZZA! PIZZA! 


PIZZA Holders sent <strong>$PIZZA</strong> tips in this post's comments:
@alonicus<sub>(1/5)</sub> tipped @clairemobey (x1)
zakludick tipped clairemobey (x1)


<sub>Join us in <a href="https://discord.gg/hivepizza">Discord</a>!</sub></center>

👍 clairemobey

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@stevenson7 · Aug 17 '22

You humour is quite refreshing, and you should patent this recipe cos it'd be hold soon.

So let me get this straight; you choose chilli with your fingers and then put your hands in your eyes to remove contact lens 😲

!discovery 27

👍 clairemobey

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@clairemobey · Aug 17 '22

several times my dude, several times. The fun part is when a seed gets stuck behind the lense 🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈

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@stevenson7 · Aug 17 '22

Oh my days 😂😂

You're not an earthling are ya?! 😅

👍 clairemobey

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2 replies

@zakludick · Aug 17 '22

Awwww yeah! We love this stuff in our home! @clairemobey has been using this stuff in food ever since we started dating. Usually, a teaspoon or two will be just fine... except that time my dad cooked and used a whole container of the stuff and @merenludick needed to be fetched early from school the next day! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 !LOLZ !LUV !PIZZA

👍 clairemobey

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@clairemobey · Aug 18 '22

$0.11

Shame man, ya that what happens when you don't taste test! 🤣🤣🤣 Oh dear. Poor Meren. Do not try that at home folks!

👍 tomiscurious, zakludick, fatman

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@zakludick · Aug 18 '22

🤣🤣🤣🤣

👍 clairemobey

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2 replies

@lolzbot · Aug 17 '22

<div class='pull-right'><center><img src="https://lolztoken.com/lolz.png"><br><a href="https://lolztoken.com">lolztoken.com</a></p><br><br><br><br></center></div><p><center><strong>Why did the parents not like their son’s biology teacher?<br>He had skeletons in his closet. </strong><br><sub>Credit: <a href="https://peakd.com/@marshmellowman">marshmellowman</a></sub><br>@clairemobey, I sent you an <a href="https://lolztoken.com">$LOLZ</a> on behalf of @zakludick<br><strong>The LOLZ Tribe is here!  Stake your LOLZ now to earn curation rewards and continue using the !LOLZ command.</strong> Please read our <a href='https://peakd.com/@lolztoken/introducing-the-lolz-tribe-now-you-can-earn-lolz-when-you-blog-about-fun-stuff'>latest update</a> for more information.<br>(1/1)</center></p>

👍 clairemobey

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