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宗教家庭出来的浪子 by davidke20

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· @davidke20 ·
$27.40
宗教家庭出来的浪子
大家好鸭。我是拉叔。如果你还记得steem的日子,那你可能认识那个叫拉仔的人。而那个人正是你们的拉叔我,一个不同年代,不同思想的我。为什么会酱紫呢?好,大家凳子花生准备好,拉叔要讲故事了。

话说,我家老爷子老拉叔是个虔诚基督徒。从年轻时加入教会一直到泡上我老妈,结婚生儿育女都离不开教会事工。中间有一段顽皮阶段。听他说,后来合伙做五金生意,和合伙人一同去应酬,经常酗酒抽烟。我还真的看过老爸嘴边叼着烟的照片。后来,他决心戒烟后重新回到教堂继续参与事工,成为一名模范丈夫,模范家长。

我小时候就已经跟着老拉叔去戒毒所当义工。听着那些戒毒者分享他们的经历,我可能也受了他们的影响。在基督教家庭长大的孩子能有什么故事和别人分享。我也不确定我当时是真的只是为了“创造故事”而变坏,还是我的心本来就想变坏,而开始了叛逆的生活。年纪轻轻刚升中就跟朋友要了烟,开始还抽得不怎样,有点咳。烟味很浓烈很呛,为了表现那种“抽烟的魅力”,还得装着很不在意。慢慢的,一根变两根,两根变四根,没等我习惯一包烟已经耐不过一个星期了。玩摇滚乐,总是喜欢装着很有才华,弹着吉他,嘴边叼着烟,浓烟都熏到眼睛睁不开了,还是觉得自己很屌很帅。教堂的牧师讲道说不可奸淫,连思想淫秽都算是破戒,我这个和女朋友同居,外面又跟同事搞在一起的人,还那有脸到教堂去呢?

年轻时犯过的罪行可以用一匹布来形容,我之前在某平台已经将前半生的事迹交待过了一遍。婚后的我,再也没有过什么特别奇葩的犯罪事迹。我说的不单是刑事罪,连道德罪行也不怎么碰。至少对不起天地良心的事已经不干。当中,某年差点“想”和一位女同事走在一起,所幸我的样子长得抱歉,再加上婚后的我体型非一般女性可以接受,所以最后还是“被”悬崖勒马,出轨不成。

那,是什么感染?是怎么转变?我说过年轻时想要创造故事,结果我就是个有故事的人。别人说的免得走歪路,我就硬是直路不走,能没有故事吗?但是说戒烟就不知能说几本百科全书了。我不是说过,老拉叔是一位虔诚基督徒吗?而我,却在街上打扮成小混混抽着烟和别人打起来,都不知被多少教友碰到过坏形象的人了。也曾经试过跟损友们合租房子在里面种植不应该的违禁独品。有次自己过量了,被抢劫了还傻笑。那次没有没被杀掉算是万幸中的大幸,如果不是走了狗屎运,那肯定是上帝的恩典了。

我本来想说,以后我不再出来混,把烟,草全部戒掉后再重新做人,再来当个基督徒就有好见证了。可是,当我想要戒烟时,才发现原来是那么难戒的。当我被某同学抛弃时,我想说我是多么善良纯洁的,可是根本说不出口。自己和别人已经有了性行为,外面也不知被怀疑出轨多少次的人能有资格说纯洁吗?多少次我想和老拉叔坦白说,我对不起他和辜负了他,一想到教友不知在他面前说过什么,我连回家去都怕和老爸聊天。

宗教信仰一直和我们说要向善。可是,偏偏人就是喜欢走歪路。像我这种人,本来可以好好走个教徒生活的人,硬是要弄一些黑历史来给人看,才觉得这样才像大佬。没错,我是被小混混打破了头,然后和别人说我去打架。其实,不是打架,我是那个说错话惹毛了人而被打也不敢反抗的。我经常捏造故事,说替某大佬贩独,其实我只是那个种植场的看门狗。我开口就是满口污言秽语,装得好像张耀扬的乌鸦嘴角色,那次被抢劫时,我连反抗的勇气都没有。当然囖,那时还是我女朋友的母老虎来安慰我时,我装着一副了不起的模样,讲到好像对方有十万大军挟持我而无法反抗。“还是别报警了,对方可能认得我是某兴的人才来抢我的,我怕对方被警方骚扰后来骚扰你…”想起来都恶心自己了。连报警的勇气都没有。报警就不能给假口供呀,我总不能在母老虎面前对着警察说对方其实连刀都还没亮,我就乖乖就擒了😵 要是给假口供,警方开个天眼看看就水落石出,何止糗大了,可能连母老虎这个女朋友都被丢了。

没想到,多年后的我,竟然不知不觉中在疫情中就停了二十多,差不多三十年的烟瘾。不知不觉中,我也认了自己并不敢开快车。我现在也不再跟别人说,我年轻时有多快,只能乖乖说现在年纪大了,开得快会有尿尿的感觉。故事的转捩点是,去年得知老爸患癌,存活率近零时,我一直挣扎着,想着要不要跟他老人家坦白。只是,我每个周末赶回去看到他一直衰退,我又再次连说出去的勇气都没有。就这样,一周复一周,再来一个月,两个月,然后老拉叔就这样走了。最后,我还是没有亲口说到给他听。我一直安慰我自己,在他面前一直都是“装的”好孩子,其实我在外面是个不成器的小混混。大晚上老妈回房了以后,我独自坐在棺木旁跟自己说自己有多没用,始终没有将这些事告诉他,然后又矛盾的安慰自己让他带着我的好形象上路,这他才走得安心。

拉叔身后事完成了以后,我心灵很是“不自在”。我无法确定是我的良心,还是因为我前半生的宗教影响。我生命中很多坏习惯都已经改了,欠缺的是我再也没有一个我要“证明”给他看的人,因为老拉叔已经走了。我静静的在陪同母老虎去天主教堂时跪下反省着自己这几十年里所做过的一切,仿佛过眼云烟。而我的目的,根本就是一开始已经错误的目标设定。既然我已经是个有故事的人,我的新目标就是回到宗教,将自己所犯下的错来教导别人。而我要带出的信息是,没有必要故意做错事,来凸显矫正的必要。

老拉叔走了这一年,我的生命发生了很大的改变。我不敢说有多正义,但绝对不再需要扮大佬。浪子回头金不换,的确有他的道理,但谁让你没事跑去当浪子呢?


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# 丢回那天接纳成为会众仪式

![](https://images.ecency.com/DQmUHHbApeduCQS4J4Ho25MvRJ4KBAF2KYSFtZ7S46LyqJC/1734391573153.jpg)
我是没想过自己有这么一天,竟然在天主教堂被接纳了。


![](https://images.ecency.com/DQmZG4gHWtj2dYiADwF3V2c4UXKnZ3RjNZ683XBdXUvukCa/1734391573184.jpg)
我家母老虎,竟然成了我的推荐人。我还得感谢她这么多年以来一直“扮演”着被骗的角色。


![](https://images.ecency.com/DQmXFrWTU9CehYiT5bQfAunLpFE44jhRougQLEsUdN7eaXn/1734391573208.jpg)
我拉叔,这次算是诚心诚意要成为教会的榜样。

![](https://images.ecency.com/DQmQoxqpxmjKvDNxg14qnWitwiiiDbB51A5GwzcuCdSEfxz/1734391573237.jpg)
我:“神父,我是因为戒烟了,所以吃多了才长胖的。请上帝原谅我将功赎罪”
神父: “狗屁不通,戒烟隐就染上食隐,那你戒赌就可以放肆去滚了是吧?”


![](https://images.ecency.com/DQmaVKetwK7rKrn16vBdYXY7xasEEMA9VWEJ81sBq3tuphP/1734391573263.jpg)
神父送了圣经,再给了祝福。

![](https://images.ecency.com/DQmSz5msgLCG8hddWxoDgyz6Fo54RB72SnfvuYAr9kCMpXs/1734391573292.jpg)
我们同期被接纳的,竟然有我前一份工作的同事呢。

![](https://images.ecency.com/DQmPkUxaU6grbysMkkbsqviqamij7QGmeVDc9msEmi6DSk5/1734391573348.jpg)
那天彩排的时候拍下来的一幕

![](https://images.ecency.com/DQmcdJVaMK2TBcFeeBRsuzYPzvKPBRBHkmG3eupww6r5pPW/1734391573418.jpg)
神父稍有的打扮。这是为了筹款教堂装修经费而下海的。


<center>[![](https://ipfs-3speak.b-cdn.net/ipfs/bafkreiak7x2y3ft5msxwctlnhnuzbp4bzxm65uqppbzm7w4xjv64xzozom)](https://3speak.tv/watch?v=davidke20/zuoqxsjncb)</center>
最后分享一哈上个礼拜我们为教堂呈献的一些古典音乐诗歌。这是最后一次练习时拍下来的。
👍  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , and 459 others
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vote details (523)
@celeste413 ·
哇 这是该恭喜拉叔 浪子回头吗?感觉只有有良知的人才会对过去的的事情耿耿于怀~
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@davidke20 ·
谢谢呀。不必恭喜。本来就可以不当浪子。
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@celeste413 ·
拉叔 也算不上浪子吧 没做过啥特出格的事情呀🤗
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@cherryzz ·
拉仔活的十分精彩啊!原来读书仔抽烟就是因为很帅才抽烟的。
一开始觉得拉仔很酷,后面又被拉叔感动到了,其实我觉得你爸爸一直都知道你是怎么样的人,你以为不说他就不知道吗,但是他不说那是因为有你而骄傲!👍
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@davidke20 ·
也只能自我安慰了。人都走了,没说出来是个遗憾,但也可以是没让他担这个包袱。
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@hivebuzz ·
Congratulations @davidke20! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain And have been rewarded with New badge(s)

<table><tr><td><img src="https://images.hive.blog/60x70/https://hivebuzz.me/@davidke20/payout.png?202412181257"></td><td>You received more than 34000 HP as payout for your posts, comments and curation.<br>Your next payout target is 35000 HP.<br><sub>The unit is Hive Power equivalent because post and comment rewards can be split into HP and HBD</sub></td></tr>
</table>

<sub>_You can view your badges on [your board](https://hivebuzz.me/@davidke20) and compare yourself to others in the [Ranking](https://hivebuzz.me/ranking)_</sub>
<sub>_If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word_ `STOP`</sub>

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@king-cobra ·
Is it St.John Church buddy? Looks Majestic
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@davidke20 ·
That's right buddy. Got my rite of acceptance blessing last week.
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@king-cobra ·
May the Lord shower u with his abundance blessing buddy.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@love5200 ·
拉叔的故事可以写成一本自传小说啊,很精彩的,也很有见证。
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@davidke20 ·
然后,那自传小说可能卖了一本,剩下99999本自己留着看了🤣等我那天成名了,再来让人爆料比较好吧我觉得。
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@oflyhigh ·
浪子回头金不换,
再说了谁年轻时又没干过一些出格的事情呢
我相信老拉叔在天有灵的话会为你现在的所作所为感到骄傲的。

加油!
👍  
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vote details (1)
@davidke20 ·
谢谢欧兄的安慰😔 有一种遗憾叫谁也不能说。
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@teohrene ·
有时我们的不坦白是不要让爱我们和我们爱的人操心。只要我们是有爱的。

虽然你说话有时会吓坏人,可是你是个有爱的人 🫶
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