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All Hail Mother Jogger by davidke20

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· @davidke20 ·
$14.32
All Hail Mother Jogger
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Apologize on the confusing title, continued from yesterday's topic of mother parker, I thought might as well talk about my favourite, jogger. Don't get me wrong, not trying to insult. Mother is a very respectable title. I always have this cheesy line from some cartoon back in the 80s, "We're under attack. Return to mothership!" And therefore mother parker, mother jogger, mother eater, is a respect title to praise such genius.  So let's get on with it, how to be a good jogger at the public park.

1. Run very fast. Like there's no tomorrow at the public park. That's shows them your raw power.
2. Despite you seen elderly walking with crutch or assisted equipment, speed pass them and throw them a "tsk" to express your frustration.
3. Bring along your hot girlfriend. Make sure they wear perfume. The perfum oil mixed with sweat has a marvelous chemical reaction that will bring the smell to the next level.
4. If you're running out of breathe, fear not. There's this trick like almost every mother jogger does, squat and pretend to tie your shoelaces. Even if it's still tightly secured, pull it off and tie them again so you have a minute to catch your breathe
5. If the girlfriend is fitter then you, make sure your turn around and jog backwards, pretending you're working out differently. Try to control your breathe and ask the girl if they're ok, and tell them it's ok to take a rest 🤣🤣🤣 
6. If you're jogging with a guy friend who is equally fit as you, make sure when you guys chat, use the John Rambo tone. It's mother parking cool... Oh wait. I mean mother jogger cool.
7. Lite a cigarette at the jogging track is the ultimate jogging experience I've seen. I imagine, the training is one of the best, because when one working out vigorously, our lung is catching oxygen in order to supply to our working muscles. Smoking actually starve the body from taking in too much oxygen. Which means, giving extra training to the lungs and the muscles.
8. This is gold, I saw a guy push his kid in a stroller whilst jogging. The stroller roll so damn fast until the kid went silent(probably fainted). I wish I can see what happen when he reached the junction and brake the stroller. Too bad my walking speed is about 7km an hour, no way I'd be able to catch up with the joggers speed.
9. Flicker the juice. Now, everyone at the jogging track is putting out 107% hardwork. Everyone is sweating. It just doesn't make sense to wipe with towel because sweat will continue to pour out. Pull up your palm, wipe your face, and flicker to the sides. Whomever gets your juice, take it as the blessing of holy water.
10. Be the photographer. I've been doing brisk walking for the past 5 years. Not that I'm proud of my spontaneous photography skill, but I will casually take out my phone, hit the burst mode and capture some photos. I will pick some of the best shot to share. But I think some of those jogger are really dedicated to photography when they decided to make a sudden stop, pull out their phone and start zooming 🤣

Well, there you have it. Thank you for reading the Sunday rant. As the country gradually open up, things started to go back to normal. So many mother parker parked at the jogging track, so many mother jogger tie their shoe laces 🤣 I just can't help it but to notice all these stuff all over again after 2 years of pandemic. Now, I actually start to miss the lonely lockdown days when I own the park by myself 🤣


---

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@asean.hive ·
##### <center>**Thanks for posting in the [ASEAN Hive Community](https://peakd.com/c/hive-141359/created).**</center>

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@ecency ·
Your content has been **voted** as a part of [Encouragement program](https://ecency.com/ecency/@good-karma/encouragement-program-continues-82eafcd10a299). Keep up the good work! <br><br>Use Ecency daily to boost your growth on platform! <br><br><b>Support Ecency</b><br>[Vote for new Proposal](https://hivesigner.com/sign/update-proposal-votes?proposal_ids=%5B197%5D&approve=true)<br>[Delegate HP and earn more](https://ecency.com/hive-125125/@ecency/daily-100-curation-rewards)
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@elmerlin ·
What's the pace you run at?
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@davidke20 ·
Not running for the past couple of years. Mostly brisk walking at 7km an hour
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@futuremind ·
So many considerations go into jogging at the park, none of which seem very relevant to running 😂 
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@davidke20 ·
Well, I'm not a jogger myself due to my knee problem. So, I might just get another group of jogger ranting at me, the mother walker 🤣
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@hivebuzz ·
Congratulations @davidke20! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s):

<table><tr><td><img src="https://images.hive.blog/60x60/http://hivebuzz.me/badges/postallweek.png"></td><td>You have been a buzzy bee and published a post every day of the week.</td></tr>
</table>

<sub>_You can view your badges on [your board](https://hivebuzz.me/@davidke20) and compare yourself to others in the [Ranking](https://hivebuzz.me/ranking)_</sub>
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@justinparke ·
How about combining speaking with a Rambo tune while jogging backwards and smoking, that would be next level macho. The Home Minister would have to beat the ladies off of you with a tree branch.
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@davidke20 ·
https://youtu.be/WKVDzOfY9GU

Dude. I kid you not. Those dudes literally talk like this at the park, with deep voice and panting whilst talking. You can literally "hear" the testosterone flow. Now that I'm thinking of myself what if I have a partner walking together, will I also sounded like them 🤣

Home minister is very ok with me going out alone. The amount of sweat and body odour justified 🤣 she don't even wanna follow me to go out, even though I wish I have a partner to workout together. 
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@pizzabot ·
<center>PIZZA! 


PIZZA Holders sent <strong>$PIZZA</strong> tips in this post's comments:
@tommyl33<sub>(4/5)</sub> tipped @davidke20 (x1)


<sub>Learn more at https://hive.pizza.</sub></center>
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@tommyl33 ·
Opppsss sorry . I mistakenly post food in this comment section. Hehe here some !PIZZA 
 
![img_9564.heic](https://images.ecency.com/DQmPyEBS3nJwiS1wxY7vDWbmDyVWfQy1tvbqna8RGurfG4F/img_9564.heic)
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@davidke20 ·
Roti banjir? Looks awesome though! 
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@watusiwoman ·
Love your take on mother jogging rules!
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@davidke20 ·
Exactly. Whilst I'm not a jogger though. I myself probably have another sets of rant from the jogger, as the mother walker blocking their way whilst they're running so much faster than my walking speed 🤣
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