I was tidying up some very *old* paperwork earlier today, and came across some notebooks dating back to a time in my life when would regularly attend a wide variety of spiritual and self-development workshops and retreats.

![0330-Bowl.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/denmarkguy/23zRvdqQCHMJfxyqHsxcL2V1oZtw8CS7EBER5CudwkVmS2pysRP1y8m9hzLmHdesS8rmv.jpg)

At the time, it all seemed *very important,* and the basic premise was basically one of *"finding yourself"* and living life with a high degree of consciousness and awareness. 

In some ways, I suppose it was the very early versions of todays *"Woke"* movement, except without as much self-inflated puffery and arrogant importance. 

Mostly, the lessons I learned revolved around becoming more adept at *responding* to people and situations, as opposed to *reacting* to them, and then regretting the consequences of those reactions. 

In truth, it was never that much of a stretch for me... I enjoyed these retreats because it was one of the *few* places I seemed to encounter like-kind individuals — something that *really* wasn't the case in the cutthroat IT industry.

![0557-Leaf.JPG](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/denmarkguy/48KbKHjGmQh9R9WZK53Wjj9sQhTnvxtrgbzV4s33DNUnxNwKCGj8heLeZtW9k75HW3.JPG)

## *Building the Life We TRULY Want...*

One of the things that always made sense to me was the premise that in order to know what we *truly want* we first have to know who we *truly ARE.* Without that, chances are that the way we interpret *"happiness"* and what we want turn out to be little more than a strange caricature of various things that have passed in front of us as *"desirable"* and *"successful,"* either on TV or in our immediate environment.

So often, it turns out to hold true that what we *think* will make us happy isn't actually what *will* make us happy.

So-called *"Hollywood Happiness"* often presents a powerful image, but bears little resemblance to any kind of reality. It is, in fact, a *caricature.*

![0333-Rialto08.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/denmarkguy/23t7qpQTyEh4LacWqjFuRugoZk3uoZmbJbrkVhccGc4F8pAhM9kqFnK7baUuoDKtFGxvF.jpg)

## *Self-Discovery — Invariably — Brings Change!*

When it comes to the whole issue of *"knowing yourself,"* the vast majority of the world doesn't go into much depth. In fact, we barely scratch the surface. There's a *huge* difference between reading a couple of self-help books, and *immersing* yourself in the process of rigorous self-inquiry for decade.

Of course, the most frequently asked question is *"What's the POINT of all that?"*

The *"point"* varies enormously from person to person. It relates to just *how important* finding a truly content way to life *IS,* to you.

Lot's of people don't actually *care.* Or — quite commonly — they don't start caring till they reach their 50's or 60's... hence, *most* of the people at the retreats I attended were typically 20+ years my senior... it was not that uncommon for me to be the *youngest* person there, in my early 30's. 

![0598-MacroColumbine.JPG](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/denmarkguy/23uQp4TpzQkyDrXKFVdnyq7aK9BN9hmzy3N4spAyVUZ7f2xq9obTvZYjF1XsTJxyN2qfW.JPG)

But back to *change.*

Self-discovery brings *change* because we get to discover that *choices have consequences!*

That is, we get to discover that when we unearth our *"true selves,"* they may actually be a piss poor match for the life we had previously chosen for ourselves as *"what seems right."*

Not only might we find ourselves rotating *out* of thought patterns and actions and choices that no longer fit us, but we're likely to discover that we'll also end up radically changing *"the crowd we run with"* because many of our ostensible *"friends"* suddenly feel jarringly incompatible with our interests.

And you might even discover — as I did — that your primary relationship is suddenly *"not all that,"* anymore. *"Values changes"* are not easy to navigate.

![0503-Apples.JPG](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/denmarkguy/23wgQH97mPyqCG1m9pa44jnVi1cJu2qq7aFhKxeS2SKr7TkpqhqAvvCTZ4ef3mL4By2mR.JPG)

## *Cultish Bullshit?*

Some people — often those who are generally opposed to questioning stereotypical models of life and happiness — might say that we have been possessed by *"cultish"* behaviors.

But is that *really* true?

Or is a better metaphor for such life changes that of the floor in an old house: There's *"trendy"* wall-to-wall carpeting everywhere, put in because it was the *"modern and popular"* thing to do... but when we *remove* all that decoration, we reveal beautiful old solid oak hardwood floors that were there *LONG* before the carpeting?

But we would never *know* that oak floor is there, unless we were willing to pull out the carpet!

Hardly *"cultish bullshit,"* even if it *does* question the norm.

![0434-RedLeaf.JPG](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/denmarkguy/242rqEiBwffWq5E1GzeiNwB9fRWskShBdv8wgAgLz3u4Pwi179oC1d9AH2oa2ajYzS2Zh.JPG)

## *Getting Our Needs Met*

Getting our *true* needs met is pretty contingent on taking the time to really *identify* those needs, and that comes via *really* knowing yourself, not just the public facade developed as a *"fence"* between ourselves and the outer world.

And it's not a journey for *everyone;* lots of people are perfectly content to *"roam around in the shallows"* and never consider what *could* be. And there's nothing *wrong* with that... *unless* you feel a small nagging voice periodically pondering *"What the hay? Is this REALLY all there is?"*

If that question arises a lot, chances are your needs are *not* being met, on some level...

Thanks for reading, and have a great remainder of your week!

***How about you? Did you ever spend much time with self-growth, workshops, retreats and such? Do you fully understand and identify your needs? Or does it often feel more like trial-and-error guesswork? Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!***

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