How do you see the world?

When you think about going forth and making your mark, what looks back at you?

When you think about going forth and making your mark, are you proceeding according to something you have been *trained and conditioned* to do, or are you acting according to what feels natural to you?


![0328-Mint.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/denmarkguy/Eoc6V6ejPNdupfhaHXqgLgkzxeiUYGcdsNsMYq57g9cdyoysHqtNSB8kq5NwpcRBdZv.jpg)


I ask that last question because we seem to be made up of *innate personality* and *training,* and the two are seldom the same thing. Sadly — more often than not — we are typically required to do what *doesn't* come naturally. 

I think I was first aware of this dichotomy; this rift between *"what we WANT to"* and *"what we HAVE to"* when I was quite young; being taught that you just have to dig in and do what's expected... *whether you like it, or not.*

That early awareness was soon followed by the subsequent awareness that most of the time I *didn't* *"like it."*


![0249-Purple.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/denmarkguy/Ep5niEePeFz6cFz4CufjEZaGEsi9wYR6BhHke4XnMgwS5iAR4UkZcUeiriLn9TAttSM.jpg)


The reason I didn't *"like it"* was that so much of the time, the world felt far bigger and more powerful than I. 

Personality-wise, I was — from nature's side — a *timid* and *compliant* kid. I struggled to understand those who got ahead by force; those who argued with their *fists* rather than with their *thoughts and words.* 

Perhaps this is how we a trained to become separate from our hearts? I don't know... what I *do* remember of my early years was that I felt *ill equipped* to handle what felt like an *angry* world that operated by *force.*

Perhaps the only thing that saved me from becoming a favorite *"punching bag"* for bullies was that I was very *large* for my age, and my serious nature made it look like I had an almost permanent *"resting bitch face"* that made me look mean... even though I *wasn't.*


![0342-PinkClover.JPG](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/denmarkguy/Eou9G5RBZHzufauxe88JWqL38UAAwmgMy4pumqxBneogivQN59At6t1Uxir4xSmfCzk.JPG)

From my current vantage point, some 50-odd years down the road, I never *truly* managed to make peace with my *perceived* brutality and meanness of the world... and it somewhat mystifies me, to this day.

I *know* it's there; I *accept* it's there; I *recognize* that I must interface with it but I have never been able to wrap my head around whatever brain synapses *create* it. I expect it will forever be filed under *"unsolved mysteries,"* in my mind.

I do find a measure of satisfaction/relief in knowing that *in spite of* having to walk in this bigger-than-me world, I never *"turned my back on myself"* in order to *join* it or *become like* it. I largely ignored what *"most people valued"* and did my own thing. 

No doubt, I could have taken *easier* paths... but I am pretty content with where this one has taken me...

Thanks for reading, and have a great week!

***How about YOU? Do you "fit easily" in the world? Or do you feel like a misfit? Did "fitting in" ever matter to you? How IS your relationship with the greater world of the majority paradigm? Accept it, ignore it, reject it? Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!***

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