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I came to understand the word ‘crush’ when I was only 13.
![image.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/iskawrites/23tmMvsLfQp7qTJGbxGd9AQURgCn3NJ3fuyKrd3DNehYafgiT3DxwwX9kgRWzS3jmFEYo.png)
[Source](https://pixabay.com/photos/happiness-heart-hearts-1046042/)
Growing up, I met a lot of handsome guys and became friends with some, but it never crossed my mind that any of them would look at me as beautiful enough to have eyes on.

Until Jonah.

I walked into bible study class late and hurried to the back to find a seat before Mr. Kojo, our teacher, spotted me and made me recite 10 bible verses before the entire class as punishment.

I dropped myself into a chair and didn't even turn to see who was beside me until he spoke.

“Treasure, right?” I turned to stare into the finest brown eyes I had seen in a long time. I nodded and turned back to Mr Kojo who was now talking about ‘The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ’.

“This is the first time you're late to bible study. And you're at the back too” he was whispering so expertly I doubted Mr Kojo would ever catch him. So that was what they did when they sat behind?

“My cousin made me late” I finally replied to him when I got the chance. He nodded and continued taking notes.

Towards the end of the class, Mr Kojo began a reverse revision. Instead of repeating all he had been saying already, he threw questions to members of the class. This was usually my favorite part because of the gifts he handed out for correct answers.
https://youtu.be/59Vf7oQV9pg?si=aOcUeRQOZvjDMg0o
[Helplessly | Tatiana Manaois (Official Music Video)](https://youtu.be/59Vf7oQV9pg?si=aOcUeRQOZvjDMg0o)

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I refrained from raising my hands to answer the questions Mr Kojo was asking so he wouldn't notice that I was behind and I had come late.

“Hey Treasure,” the boy called again, “You know these answers, don't you? Why don't you tell me one of them?”

I scribbled the answer to the next question and passed it to him. When he raised his hand and answered correctly, Mr Kojo was very pleased.

“Weldone Jonah. I see you've decided to take bible study seriously now” he said, shaking Jonah's hands and handing him a small jotter.

“Thanks,” Jonah said, beaming at me. I smiled back and continued to listen. I didn't care for the jotters, fancy pens, or chocolates anymore. I had gotten lots of them already.

But I gradually began to care for something else because that evening with Jonah however opened a new chapter in my life.

The next bible study class, Jonah arrived quite early and to my greatest surprise, he had a seat reserved for me. He waved me over when I walked in.

“You look beautiful today,” he said, smiling widely. Maybe it was the way he said it or the way I heard it, but something definitely shifted in my chest.

The next bible study class just before I had a seat, he said “I love the way you walk,” and the next bible study after that, he said he loved my lashes.

The compliments didn't stop, and neither did my sitting with Jonah. I made it my responsibility to keep a seat for him if I came earlier and ensured to listen carefully so I could tell him all the answers during the revision time.

Once he gave me his chocolate, “Thank you for helping me out” he said smiling. I thought I was over the moon.

I didn't think there would be a day when Jonah would come into bible study class and walk past me to sit somewhere else but that day came sooner than I expected. He just walked past me and went to his usual seat at the back of the class.

I frowned and kept frowning till the end of that session. To make things worse, he didn't speak to me after the class. He was speaking to Bella, one of the new kids in class instead.

It continued that way from then, I didn't want much, I just wanted a sensible explanation. I wanted to know if I had hurt or upset him and apologize.

So I walked up to him on one of those days after class and waved my fingers at him.

“Hi,” he said back.

“Did I offend you?” I went straight to the point. He shook his head, there was a small frown on his lips. “So why aren't you talking to me anymore?”

He chuckled.

“What's there to talk about, Treasure?” I blinked rapidly and took a minute to think about it. There was really nothing we spoke about except for bible study questions and answers.

“But I thought you liked me, you always want to be with someone you like whether there's something to talk about or not,” I told him

“It was a stupid crush. Get a hold of yourself” he said and called out to Bella as he walked away.

The words “Stupid crush” did not leave my mind till I got home and looked it up. I remember staying back from bible study class for 3 entire weeks and no one even checked up on me.

I was listening to Tatiana Manaois ‘Helplessly’ 10 years later when that event replayed in my head. The part where she sang; 

> “You're not helping me, you're not helping me, you're not helping me but I helplessly fall for you……” [Tatiana Manaois Lyrics](https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/tatianamanaois/helplessly.html)

just brought Jonah back to my mind.

Thankfully, it was one of those bad situations I could eventually laugh at.

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