 <hr> We all have different types of coping mechanisms in life, and they can be factual, logical, or emotional. Reality can be harsh. The distinction between what is real and what is unreal can be difficult to accept, and sometimes we never fully accept it. For example, receiving a stage 5 cancer diagnosis can be frightening and difficult to accept. Why? It is a terminal condition, and being told you will probably die in 6 months is surreal: you go from pain to sadness, disbelief, anger, and finally denial. When you finally accept it, the coping mechanism begins. Quotes serve as partial coping mechanisms and that's why people hold onto them in periods of confusion and trials So this person (with a terminal condition) begins to reflect on their lives, looking for peaceful moments to cherish. If they are at least 50 years old, they will feel some appreciation for having reached that age; after all, people as young as 15 or 20 can develop cancer, be hit by drunk drivers, and fall asleep and never wake up. Thoughts like these are positive coping mechanisms; they help people find peace in the midst of chaos, even if this peace is not logically real. ***"Why does life have to be so cruel to me, when there are 8 billion other people?"*** People ask questions like this when they can not explain what is going on with them; when unbelievable and illogical things happen to ordinary people, they begin to wonder why it has to be them, but why should not it be them? Is there some sort of immunity they possess that protects them from the uncertainties of life? No. It is just that when things are going well, people do not expect them to suddenly turn bad, which is where they are wrong. > However, these feelings can change due to our incredible adaptability. People can go from *"but why me?"* to *"oh thank God it is not worse than this,"* demonstrating the incredible ability to develop coping skills and mechanisms for adaptability. ## Positive, as well as negative Cope mechanisms can also be negative; they can stem from frustration, greed, pain, jealousy, and envy, though these mechanisms are sometimes understandable, particularly when people are unable to explain or accept that they are not doing enough to improve their situations. Poor people can be envious of those in better financial situations than them, and they frequently try to attribute their success to luck or something else. ## Luck is not lottery True, people can be lucky in life, but we must recognize that not all "luck" is undeserved. The term "luck" makes hardworking people appear underserved; however, luck is more than just walking down the street and finding a million-dollar check on the ground; luck is more about putting in the right effort in the right places and being rewarded far beyond your efforts or expectations. So that is the difference. Luck does not imply a lack of effort, although some people interpret it as such. I try not to see wealthy people as unjustly fortunate. They worked for their bag, and it may seem unfair to see that they put in little effort and received a larger payoff, but they worked hard to get to that compounding state. It is easy to say, *"Oh, they are rich because they were fortunate to have made money when life was not competitive."* While this statement may be true, we must recognize that life provides equal opportunities at various stages of life. Although the statement above is more of a coping mechanism, sometimes people just throw it around because they are frustrated and need a reason why they are not performing as well as they should. > Life cannot answer all of our questions. In fact, we would all leave this life with more questions than answers, and this is true for all humans. There will be no logical answers to some of our logical questions, and this is because we fail to recognize that life itself may not be completely logical; some of our unanswered questions are proof of this. Coping mechanisms are excellent life strategies; they can sometimes teach us the patience or appreciation we require. Many people do not understand the complexities of life until they find themselves in situations where they must find ways to accept whatever happens to them, as well as methods to cope with it. <hr> <hr> > **Interested in some more of my posts** <hr> <hr> ##### [Why Is the grind getting harder?](https://hive.blog/hive-146620/@josediccus/why-is-the-grind-getting-harder) ##### [Monopoly Is the Death of Civilization](https://hive.blog/hive-146620/@josediccus/monopoly-is-the-death-of-civilization) ##### [Survival: Choas and Scarcity](https://hive.blog/hive-146620/@josediccus/survival-choas-and-scarcity) ##### [Crypto: Gut & meaningful Connections](https://hive.blog/hive-146620/@josediccus/crypto-gut-and-meaningful-connections) ##### [What is the primary barrier to entry in Web3?](https://hive.blog/hive-146620/@josediccus/what-is-the-primary-barrier-to-entry-in-web3-dfo) ##### [What Are Some Things You Should not Do During A Bull Market Year?](https://hive.blog/hive-146620/@josediccus/what-are-some-things-you-should-not-do-during-a-bull-market-year-fbh) <hr> 
author | josediccus |
---|---|
permlink | how-do-you-deal-with-questions-that-do-not-have-answers |
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The problem with the *"Why"* statement is because we believe we deserve better, especially when we've given our all to live such life. But that's it! Life is never fair, and because we fail to remember or being in denial of bad moments, we get really sick to the guts when we encounter them. It is not an easy thing to take when we are told we have this illness or diagnosed with something so unfortunate. It makes us question our life choices and... it is painful knowing that no matter what we do, we will still have such illness. That's why some people pray so hard and cry to their creator, hoping for some sort of miracle. Miracles... I believe it happens because I have seen so much... however, sometimes things don't change and... that's just life.
author | balikis95 |
---|---|
permlink | re-josediccus-2025612t202542654z |
category | hive-146620 |
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Miracles can happen, sometimes it just doesn't it's only God that can choose when or when not to give us a miracle: saddening and painful, but that's it. When it comes to God, I like to think the creator owns all the power and His will is what he chooses and even though we can still plead with him in prayer, we're still at his mercy. Even though I've gotten used to a hard reality, I still ask the "why me" questions, because it can still be saddening, and pain can be so real and we give in to our tears. *Sorry for the late reply*
author | josediccus |
---|---|
permlink | sxsx5k |
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I used to think successful people just got lucky breaks, but now I see it's more like preparation meets opportunity. You still gotta put in the work to even recognize luck when it shows up.
author | callofduti |
---|---|
permlink | re-josediccus-2025612t223420338z |
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Well I think it's not as difficult as it seems.
author | josediccus |
---|---|
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callofduti | 0 | 89,093,264 | 100% |
we are self-centric and think that bad things will never happen to us... but its statistic, to someone it has to happen, same as die when giving birth to your children... or the people who died today on plane crash, when one goes on plane thinks its the safest transport and it's been long since last crash, yet it happened as for luck, it depends, born son of a rich company owner, is pure lotto
author | davideownzall |
---|---|
permlink | re-josediccus-sxrbhg |
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I have to agree with you 100%, especially with the plane crash. I use to feel that plane crash records are meant to be broke. It might have been long a crash happened, and just the first time an individual is boarding a plane, then boom! CRASH HAPPENS. Anything can happen to anyone, I know that some people feel some form of immunity probably because of where they're coming from, and their history too, but no one is immune from uncertainty
author | josediccus |
---|---|
permlink | sxrfyh |
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Deep one there .. I think the coping mechanism is a formular people have come to accept inorder to align with whatever is life's fate to them, since they cannot do anything about what ever circumstances they find themselves in ..as far as we still alive life will go on, have to replace self pity with coping mechanism to survive the ordeal....
author | hiventhusiast |
---|---|
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Yes, that's what I try to say. Thanks for the summary. For me, self pity is an inevitable feeling, everyone feels it once in a while.
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Honestly speaking we all have to devise a means to stay up n keep going ....
author | hiventhusiast |
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We can't have all the answers, but I think its best to focus on what you can actually make a change on. If there is something you want to accomplish, then focus on that. I find that getting down due to all the despair won't help you much as it would affect anything you do.
author | jfang003 |
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Yeah, best to focus on what we can change, but then despair and fear is inevitable. Life hands people different cards and for some people the cards they were handed might but be favorable.
author | josediccus |
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Yeah this is so true. I remember when my grandma got dementia, we all knew what was happening but nobody wanted to say it out loud. Sometimes denial isn't weakness, it's just survival mode for all
author | madaug |
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Well I guess when people fall sick, no one wants to mention the obvious, so they wouldn't put further fear in the mind of the person who is sick. These feelings can be really painful.
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indeed it can friend
author | madaug |
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Hmmm, I am not going to say much now but this post is revolving around what made me cry very well this morning . I had many questions running through my mind , many whys, how, and lots more. But I find a coping mechanism to survive the whole emotional torture and keep going...Facing the reality and trusting God in everything
author | nkemakonam89 |
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Well, there are probably good and bad times and I'm sure you try to enjoy your good times and just have faith through the rough times. I've had more bad times, and I try to believe God's plan all through everything. There are really not sensible answers to why things can be unfair, it's just what it is.
author | josediccus |
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Wow! I am so excited this morning for coming across this post @josediccus. Do you know recently I have had some sets of individuals asking questions that I find difficult to explain or answer, and one them is still a young girl from a rich family she not upto 18, but all of a sudden things fell apart, and they started living a life of struggle. She began to question life, and the reality she never believed she could face is right in front of her, to the extent that she told me God is biased and that the idea of God is just a human concept because she prayed but got no answers to her prayer. I tried my best to convince her that it is just an occurrence of life and surely there is an end for anything, either positive or negative. is just to give it time and work harder. Just as you said, there's nothing like being lucky. The poor always used that word, but I finally noticed that the word has been abused and there are many more questions than answers. Thank you for the eyeopener sir.
author | oluthomas |
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<center> **Your reply is upvoted by [@topcomment](https://peakd.com/@topcomment); a manual curation service that rewards meaningful and engaging comments.** <center> **[More Info](https://peakd.com/@topcomment/topcomment-curation-service-info) - [Support us!](https://peakd.com/hive/@topcomment/support-topcomment-a-delegation-and-earn-80percent-curation-rewards) - [Reports](https://peakd.com/created/topcommentreport) - [Discord Channel](https://discord.gg/u7ebA2QKCd)** </center> [](https://peakd.com/@topcomment)<hr><center><b>Curated by <a href="/@friendlymoose">friendlymoose</a></b></center>
author | topcomment |
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Wow! Thank you so much @topcomment
author | oluthomas |
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*Why me?* *Why not you?* Many of us believe life should always be rosy without some uncertainties life throws at us. We feel it shouldn't happen to us but that's far from the truth because everyone, no matter who they are or what status quo they have, will have to go through some certain life's difficulties that finding an answer would be impossible because that's how life is. That's what makes it confusing sometimes, and yes, fun, too. We need to understand that life will never answer every question and for whatever we are going through, it only calls for us to be grateful.
author | princessbusayo |
---|---|
permlink | re-josediccus-sxrbgn |
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Yeah, thank you. I mean I have asked the "why me" question a lot of times, and there was no answer and there probably won't be answers till the end of time. Sad, but true. Although some people go through bigger issues than others, so I guess this is why. We want to to know why some people have it better than us, or why we have it worse than others. Although in our state of acceptance, we often create this balance of cope, which is how we mostly just forget our troubles and begin to find ways to live with them.
author | josediccus |
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Yea, it's the idea of coping mechanisms that we tend to move on with our lives and still be grateful it ain't worse than others.
author | princessbusayo |
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Life is never predictable and like I've said many time it sure isn't fair. You can work hard your whole life and still end up broke with nothing to show for your efforts. Luck is a factor in some cases, in some cases you have to make your own luck. Many times I've had to do that, good things don't just fall out the sky. But death can come at any time, from the moment you're born until you do die. Newborns die on occasion, and some of us live to be over 100 years old. Some of that is luck, buy also diet and exercise. You can't change your genetics, well, not yet anyway. It will happen just way too late for us!
author | thebighigg |
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