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Wrong priority. by lightpen

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· @lightpen ·
$4.57
Wrong priority.
![photo-1623750444510-4d0116313cb4.jpeg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/lightpen/243g3DEM9F2h2tR3UdmZgWDYuddSH6fv3KsFHMTacK4kRsppscE8MNBdZbnh7C1RcHmDX.jpeg)
[Source](https://unsplash.com/photos/3nZDJDlrmZ0)
<div class=text-justify>

It's been three days since my mother has been pleading with me to reconsider my stance of maintaining the status quo with respect to my relationship with my dad.
 
"Mike, you need to give me a positive response before I go. He is your dad and the situation he is now is not befitting of your status."
 
"Mum... He neglected me when I needed him most. I haven't done anything wrong. If I am to take every experience into consideration, the monthly stipends to him wouldn't have been initiated and sustained by me."

"I know my son." She said as she stood up and moved towards where I was sitting in the living room. "My son, if you want to operate the rule of an eye for an eye, everyone would go blind. You need to forgive." I felt my mum's tender touch on my shoulder. I looked up and the eye contact brought back the memory of my growing up - the love, the support and the sacrifice.

I was visualizing everything and was lost in the thoughts when I heard my mum say, "I am on my knees, assist your father." Abomination, I screamed as I held her arms and raised her from the kneeling position. Then I remembered the promise that I made to her when she was insulted by my highschool teacher. 

---

I was sent home due to non-payment of school fees and in her characteristic manner, she followed me to the school to plead with the authority to give her a little time to raise the money. After pleading with the school bursar in this regard, the bursar, a middle aged woman, left a comment that hit my young heart. 

"We are not responsible for your irresponsible husband. This is not a charity school. If others are debtors like you, the school would cease to exist."

My mum endured the insult just to have me allowed to join others to write examinations. On second thought, the bursar was right. My dad didn't care about his family. Education of his only child wasn't in his agenda.

I promised her that day that I would forever do everything within my power to make her happy. 

---

"I will be coming to assess the situation during the weekend." I promised her. 

"That's my son. May you continue to excel. God will be with you in all you do..." For another five minutes, my mum continued to shower prayers on me. A perfect reminder of her firm guidance physically and spiritually while I was growing up. 

---

The previous day, she explained the situation of my dad to me. The house that he spent his career building at the expense of my education was in ruins. A heavy downpour had destroyed what was left of the dilapidated structure. They were accomodated in a neighbor's house and that had been a concern to my mother.

Everything about the house reminded me of my father's wrong priority. Being the only child, I had expected my father to support my education but he never did. I remember a day that my mother engaged him on why he never showed concern for my education. 

"This attitude of yours will come back to haunt you. The future of our son and even our old age could only be secured by educating this boy."
 
"Woman, I can't retire home without a roof to my head. Mike already met a profession in my hand. Farming is our culture, he will do better than me in it. For now, my attention is to complete my house. It's still his own anyway." He was sipping palm wine from a calabash cup with a cigarette in his left hand. "Don't disturb me please," he concluded.
 
"You will regret your actions at old age." My mum insisted. 

He looked in her direction and released the smoke gathered in his mouth like a chimney. He hissed and picked up his calabash.

The struggle to get me educated became that of my mum alone. I severed my relationship with my dad the day that I requested assistance for school fees from him when I was about to register as a fresh university student. 

"I don't have money. You can see that work on our house stopped in the past one year. I am strategizing on how to get money to complete it."
 
I nearly lost my university admission. My mum bailed me out by taking loans from multiple sources to cater for my needs. 

To my surprise, carpenters started a multi-thousand Naira project of roofing my dad's house the following day. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I vowed never to have anything to do with him.
 
Throughout my university education and working career that spanned through 10 years, I never wanted to see him. My mum was under the same roof with him and that made it inevitable for me to be visiting them. I considered him for a token monthly while sending money to my mum. Well, I never slept in the house for a day. I maintained that vow. 

---

The following weekend, I traveled home to assess the situation as promised. 

I was welcomed by my mum in a neighboring house where they were taking refuge. I was discussing with my mum when my dad walked up to us. He was in a sober mood. 

"Good evening dad," I greeted.
 
He barely responded when he went into pleading for forgiveness.
 
"I have wronged you. I was foolish in my priority. I plead with you to forgive me." He was shedding tears while regretting his past actions. "I deserve whatever treatment you planned to mete out to me." I only plead that you see reason to forgive my wickedness."

I wasn't there to forgive him. I only went there for the sake of my mother. 

"I am not here for this." I walked away. My mum held my leg. 

"I know that it's not an easy request but find a place in your heart to forgive your father." I turned back and looked at my mum and again, I raised her up and hugged her. 

My mum was like an idol. Instead of offending her, I can forgive a thousand of enemies by her wish or command.

"If you choose to join dad in his decision those days, I wouldn't have become what I am today. Thank you for being different. For your sake, I forgive him." I declared while we all hugged one another. 

We immediately went to the dilapidated house. All that was visible was the ruins of my father's lifelong ambition. I looked at the ruins and shook my head. 

"Is this worth the education of your only child?" I asked.

"I know how you feel. Remember you've forgiven your father." My mum responded.

I took responsibility for the rebuilding of the house for my parents. My dad couldn't hide his joy as he threw himself over me with tears. They were grateful for it.</div>
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vote details (568)
@ayokunlehenry ·
"This story is an еyе-opеnеr. I hopе thе right pеoplе sее it.

I know of a man, our nеighbor in our prеvious rеsidеncе. Hе vowеd not to sponsor thе еducation of his childrеn. Hе always says, 'Thosе who studiеd in thе univеrsity arе coming back to farm bеcausе thеy couldn't sеcurе a job, so I wouldn't wastе my monеy on any child. Thеy should start working on thе farm now.'" 
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vote details (1)
@lightpen ·
>'Thosе who studiеd in thе univеrsity arе coming back to farm bеcausе thеy couldn't sеcurе a job, so I wouldn't wastе my monеy on any child. Thеy should start working on thе farm now.'"

You can imagine such level of ignorance. What he fails to understand is that an average graduate farmer does it better than the uneducated farmers. I have seen many cases while growing up. Education is beyond securing white collar job. It transforms someone into a better being who can become sophisticated in whatever he chooses to do. Those kind of fathers are selfish and wicked for bringing a child to this world. 
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@ayokunlehenry ·
You've said it all

I used to say, 'If I hadn't gone to school, I wouldn't have the knowledge I possess now.' I'm not referring to academic knowledge here."
👍  
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vote details (1)
@cool08 ·
This is why we all believed that education is the best. 
Anyways, it's a good thing you had done by forgiving him for what he had done. You mum on the other hand had never supported him and looking at your mum, she is the kindhearted woman. 

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@davidbright ·
This is so sad a tale but I am glad that at the end of it, you were able to forgive your dad despite all he did and rebuilt the house.

I have seen so many people in this same shoe. To be sincere, it's not easy to forgive such people who made our life uneasy even though they had the means to help.

We should be careful how we treat me especially our children because we don't know what tomorrow holds.

Powerful story with lots of lessons. Weldone
👍  
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vote details (1)
@lightpen ·
>We should be careful how we treat me especially our children because we don't know what tomorrow holds.

Would I say it's lack of foresight, ignorance or selfishness? Honestly, not every child would forgive such a man in this kind of situation.The protagonist was kind to have done that. 
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@davidbright ·
You are right... Not everyone would. I guess he has a kind heart coupled with the pressure from his mother. I am just glad it ended well. 
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vote details (1)
@deking01 ·
Mothеrs support for thеir childrеn еducation is always amazing. This sacrificеs madе by thе mothеr for hеr child's еducation is highly profitablе. It's good thе fathеr еvеntually rеalizеd his past mistakеs of misplacеd priority. 
Your story sеrvеs as a rеmindеr of how invеsting in еducation can brеak thе circlе of missеd opportunitiеs and lеad to brightеr futurеs. Kudos to you 👍 
👍  
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@lightpen ·
Mother's love is golden. They can go extra miles, sacrifice their comfort greatly to see their children excel.

>Your story sеrvеs as a rеmindеr of how invеsting in еducation can brеak thе circlе of missеd opportunitiеs and lеad to brightеr futurеs. Kudos to you 👍 

Education has no substitute. 
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@deking01 ·
Absolutely! My friend. Keep up the good work.
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@george-dee ·
This is quite relatable, numerous parents place so many things over their children's future forgetting that those kids are their future.

I hope this sends the right message to everyone who comes across it, prioritizing what can be done later over what must be done now can end in great regret.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@lightpen ·
>I hope this sends the right message to everyone who comes across it, prioritizing what can be done later over what must be done now can end in great regret.

This story was inspired by my experience while growing up. I had a friend whose father prioritize building a house to his education. The father died even packing into the house. As I type this now, the children hate the house. The house is dilapidating already. No alternative to education of one's children. 
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@ibbtammy · (edited)
This was nothing short of amazing, good job!
👍  
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vote details (1)
@lightpen ·
Thanks.
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@iskawrites ·
Wait! Your dad wanted you to inherit farming after him and not go to school? Forgive me but that man was totally blind. Well, I don't really blame him because maybe that was how his parents trained him. Thank God your mother was there to support you. I am glad you were able to forgive your him and now he knows better that education is far better than farming 
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@marynn ·
It's a good think your adorable mother wasn't blind like your dad was towards education. Fathers then believed in male folks going to school than females just surprised why your dad was adamant but the reason was clearly pointed out " he had high regard for a house than his son's education."  

Your mum is everything and I know you know that without me saying it. 
👍  
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vote details (1)
@lightpen ·
It's painful that the father preffered a house to his only child's education. I am glad that he lived to regret the action. Thank you for stopping by.
👍  
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authorlightpen
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vote details (1)
@marynn ·
That's life, sometimes we view what we do in life as most perfect thing to do but in a long run we beat ourselves on why we actually did such. 

The sweetest part is that you forgave him and let go. That shows the sweetest part of you. 
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properties (23)
authormarynn
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vote details (1)
@teknon · (edited)
I know fathers who are exactly this in the real world and the mothers are always the chief corner stone. This was very emotional to read. It'd be hard to forgive such a father but for the love of God and the mother he had to. Really nice tale.
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properties (23)
authorteknon
permlinkre-lightpen-s1vz3h
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vote details (1)
@lightpen ·
Many irresponsible fathers around. They lack foresight when it comes to sponsoring the education of their children. Mothers always come to the rescue. May God bless all responsible mothers and fathers out there.
properties (22)
authorlightpen
permlinkre-teknon-s1w5ef
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@theinkwell ·
The end of the story shows that it is safer and more profitable to invest in the education of children.  The father has understood this with tears in his eyes and the mother's kindness has paid off.  

 
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properties (23)
authortheinkwell
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vote details (1)
@lightpen ·
Thank you for your kind review and support as usual.
properties (22)
authorlightpen
permlinkre-theinkwell-s1vyyu
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@universoperdido ·
A relationship in ruins that could only be repaired by a woman who did believe in her son's education.  

At least you were able to reach an agreement with your father and continue with your studies.  It is sad that some parents do not care enough about their children's academic preparation; I have seen several unfortunate cases of this magnitude.
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properties (23)
authoruniversoperdido
permlinkre-lightpen-2023101t1854434z
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vote details (1)
@lightpen ·
It mostly ends in regret. The best legacy that one can leave for his offspring is education. There is one adage in Yoruba language in Nigeria, "Omo ti a o ko lo ma gbe ile ti a ko ta." This translates approximately to; "A child not well trained will sell one's house/properties"
Thank you for stopping by.
properties (22)
authorlightpen
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