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Think With Caffeine #12 : Starting Over by macchiata

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· @macchiata ·
$1.48
Think With Caffeine #12 : Starting Over
<div class="text-justify"> 

# Starting over

<center> ![thinkwithcaffeine.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/macchiata/ACt8d6rD-thinkwithcaffeine.png)</center>

<center> ![Line_Break2.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/macchiata/fWJQeIot-Line_Break2.png) </center>

It doesn't matter how many times I say I want to start over, it never happens. I learned that each time I said it, I am still not letting go the broken dreams. It is like building a ruined lego house on loop and never finishing it. I get tormented because I don't know how to stop latching on to those broken dreams. But eventually, I find out how to let go those broken dreams. 

Recently, I deleted one of my only remaining mainstream online presence. That was the turning point for me, letting go the life I latched on to for years. Where I could still meet old faces and people from toxic relationship I build over the last three years. I want to break free from anything associated with my past. Even this presence, I don't know; it has been becoming a job, a portfolio, a witness to my journey, I just can't let this one go yet. Besides, this place is the least toxic I know and not filled with toxic people from the past. The only remaining online presence of mine is this hive account.

Moving forward, I want to focus on new ventures and things. I want to start over with my writing career. I want to learn how to be a better creative writer and eventually publish a book. Not to mention, I want to resume my journey with programming and linguistic where my end goal is making  a tangible contribution. That are some goals I currently have which I hope will motivate me to get out of the broken loop. 

I was once guilty of wishing the Deus ex machina in my journey. But from a book I read by Jordan Peterson, it's the "  It makes a mockery of independence, and courage, and destiny, and free will, and responsibility*".  I have the choice and the courage to stop being tormented by the past, and I am going to use it well this time. 


</div>
<center> <b><i>Mac</i<</b> </center>

<center> ![Line_Break2.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/macchiata/fWJQeIot-Line_Break2.png) </center>

<div class="pull-left"> https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmRJdDPDnAC7NPuLDwqgGTrmh38sLZYKVs7Lcsg225MzBn/discord.png </div>


<div class="pull-right"> 

<div class="text-justify"> 
Mac covers technology, philosophy, nootropics, books, productivity, minimalist lifestyle, cybersecurity and languages. Other than those, she is passionate about cooking and travel. In her free time, she enjoys learning art and exploring new hobbies. In Hive, she enjoys writing essays, reviews and answering life philosophical questions. 
👍  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , and 267 others
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vote details (331)
@agonzalezio ·
Hey Mac, I'm glad you're ok, I just noticed about this decision. Anyway, it's good to hear about you and I hope you can find and pursue your new journey, I'd be happy to read your book one day. I wish we could have meet more closely on the other platform.

Alway's a good time to start over and find a new path. I wish you the best and good luck + vibes towards your goals.
👍  
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@macchiata ·
Freddy! So glad to see you here. I am very active on hive and discord. So let's keep in touch and I'll show you some cool stuff around Hive which you might be interested in ! Thanks for checking in with me 😊
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@agonzalezio · (edited)
Sure, you can find on Discord as [removed] :)
👍  
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vote details (1)
@bigtom13 ·
Well.  I'm really glad you didn't leave here.  And that is purely selfish, I don't get to interact with many articulate 20 somethings.  I really do appreciate what you bring to the platform.

So thanks for staying.  I'll keep looking forward to your posts and outlook.
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@macchiata ·
I like this place, the only place I can genuinely hangout and interact with people. It's almost like a sanctuary from mainstream social media where most people I know from the past are. Thanks for interacting with me all this time. I always appreciate it. Have a great weekend and happy Halloween!
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@cardboard ·
@tipu curate ;)
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@macchiata ·
thanks ;)
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@tipu ·
<a href="https://tipu.online/hive_curator?cardboard" target="_blank">Upvoted  &#128076;</a> (Mana: 10/20) <a href="https://peakd.com/hive/@reward.app/reward-app-quick-guide-updated" target="_blank">Liquid rewards</a>.
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@curie ·
Congrats on a Curie vote!
Hi macchiata,
<div class="pull-right">
https://hiveitimages.com/DQmXgrYG8AKimJKRSu2urPB5SPcftN6GCGx2gVJJMwBkuTu/Curie%20Logo%2075px.png
</div>
This post  has been upvoted by the Curie community curation project and associated vote trail as exceptional content (human curated and reviewed).  Have a great day :) <br>
 
Visit <a href="http://curiehive.com/">curiehive.com</a> or join the <a href="https://discord.gg/G6RPUMu">Curie Discord community</a> to learn more.
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@ecency ·
Your post has been **voted** as a part of [Encouragement program](https://ecency.com/esteem/@good-karma/encouragement-program-continues-82eafcd10a299). Keep up the good work! <br>Dear reader, follow and support this author, Install Android: https://android.ecency.com, iOS: https://ios.ecency.com mobile app or desktop app for Windows, Mac, Linux: https://desktop.ecency.com<br>Learn more: https://ecency.com <br>Join our discord: https://discord.me/ecency
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@riverflows ·
I've thought about deleting all my HIVE posts, knowing full well that if you really wanted to find them you could. But like you, this place sees you as you NOW, not who you were. A place to invent yourself anew, every day. 

Fuck the past. it doesn't even exist. 
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@macchiata ·
Indeed! it's amazing how we are part of this journey :)
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@wolfofnostreet ·
As long as it makes you feel better, it's all good. I hope you keep this account for a long time though.
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@macchiata ·
I am on a journey to fell better and I'll keep this account since there are many things I wrote here that's worth a book!
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