![1623867809111.jpg](https://images.hive.blog/DQmeP7eRdXJwQEkqxBSPfokxmVmm2AH5wVCtUWuoRNr8mqE/1623867809111.jpg)


*So, what do you think? You reckon the team will be up for it?*

*El Jefe's* words hung in the air above my laptop like the greasy smoke from a burning tramp.

I pushed myself back slightly from the screen and gave it and him a long hard stare. 

*Let me get this straight. You're proposing that it will be mandatory to have a Covid jab before anyone can return to the office?*

I said this with the puzzled air of a Chicken who has accepted an invitation to dine with Foxy Loxy only to find that he was to be the main course.

*Yes, that way we know we are all safe.*

*El Jefe* couldn't have sounded more ridiculous if he was blowing a Kazoo underwater whilst dressed as a duck.

*Well, the vaccine doesn't stop you from actually getting the COVIDS. So you could still get it and then spread it about like cheap jam on hot toast?*

I emphasised my point by employing my famous impersonation of a rational human being. 

*El Jefe* twitched and jerked as if beset by flies.

*What? What do you mean the vaccine doesn't stop you catching it? It's a fucking vaccine. That's what vaccines do, they make you IMYOOOOOOON???*

The *Jefe*-elump pushed his face close to the camera, his mouth gaping, carp-like as he scoffed at me in a way that a six-year-old would be proud of. 

 *IMYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON.*

He repeated like a birthing cow, his eyes bulging as if he were deeply felating me.

Ever the gentleman,  I waited for him to finish.

And finish he did, more quickly perhaps than I would have. 

*As I was saying, it doesn't make you immune, it...*

El-Jefe rudely cut me off with a chop of his hand.

*What the hell, Boom-Dawg? Are you one of them? The anti-vaxxers? Seriously? For real?*

He looked at me the same way my Uncle Tommy had looked at me when I wore my first tie-dyed shirt.

*Of course I'm not a fucking anti-vaxxer you tool.*

I snapped. One of my very few sensitive nerve endings stinging at the accusation. 

<sub>*Interlude - some half finished cover art that didn't make the cut but I liked it :0)*</sub>


![1623y858506-picsay.jpg](https://images.hive.blog/DQmYvsGmJLtXGuwS4XVv3pCcSsbJ2jUAUg5v1bxqaRSce5u/1623y858506-picsay.jpg)
<sup>Lovely! Now on with the show!</sup>

*El Jefe* frowned deeply and raised an eyebrow portentously.

*Boom-Dawg, did you just call me a tool?*

He thundered slowly like a Caribbean storm.

*Hell no's boss guy, I said fool, not tool.*

I nimbly skated over the crack-festooned thin ice that the Human Resources department wore as a skin.

*And anyway, I was trying to tell you, you are not __IMYOOOON__ if you get the vaccine, even if you have both jabs. You are just less likely to die like a panting asthmatic dog in the Spanish sun.*

I weaved my fingers in a *casty spell way* at the camera to lure him away from focussing on being called a tool and a fool.

*But Boomy... That's how vaccines work? I mean what do I have to do, google it for you?*

He shook his head disparagingly at the folly of handsome men.

*Yes please.*

*Yes please what?*

*Google it.*

I smiled a bright smile, the smile of a man who suddenly realises that *Kiss from a Rose* wasn't sung by an actual Seal.

*Google what?*

*El Jefe* puffed confusedly like some kind of tool who had just been called a fool by someone rather cruel.

*You said, 'what did you have to do, Google it for me...' So yes, please. Google it.*

I nodded at him to do my bidding.

He made an exasperated *Uuuuuuurrrhh* noise then nodded.

*Fine then. I bloody well will.*

He leaned forward and peered at his keyboard before pecking out individual letters of his query with a one-fingered stabbing motion. 

No wonder he never got married,  I thought as he ponderously tapped away.

*There!*

*El Jefe* crowed with excitement at his achievement of googling something as the results flooded onto his screen.

*It says...Oh, wait a minute...*

He scowled at his laptop and then muttered something about *someone playing funny buggers with the internet.*

He cut the call.

I leaned back and chortled.

*Aye, see you sooooooooon Mr IMYOON.*