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An Observer of Patterns by selfhelp4trolls

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· @selfhelp4trolls ·
$8.84
An Observer of Patterns
![F7E968D3-294C-44F0-A9BE-0E66CB5D8913.jpeg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/selfhelp4trolls/23w2gpgujzD8WmiYh61Tyj7EtM8hDBa15WcNTnJ68jq3u91QgsT5kjqAR8LXJPE2sTHDm.jpeg)


It’s been an emotionally overwhelming week for me, both exciting and a little terrifying. Rather than just take what happens at face value, I always seek to find what kind of hints and clues life is throwing at me. 

I see transformation all around me. Some of these transformations are nothing but exciting while others are full of uncertainty. 

The biggest transformation I see right now is a beautiful yet complicated country which is fighting for a voice. The youth have finally decided that they can’t hold in their thoughts any longer and people have started gathering in the streets across the country. 

A country is a difficult thing to change and so I expect this to be a very very long battle that is lost many times before it is won. There will be backlash and crackdowns and the resistance will disappear for a while, then the residual effects will start to come to play, all the outside forces and reactions piling up over time. It’s very hard to imagine where this will go in the long term. 

Luckily individuals are a lot easier to fix than entire countries. We are all a mess, no doubt, but a manageable mess if we really do the work. 

And as the power structures of the world step into a new transformative stage, I feel the same thing happening with people around me. 

My partner found a job after a year of failure, and it looks to be a good one. The pay is hardly anything to get excited about but the work itself is something she is interested in and can learn a lot from. I’ve never seen her this confident before, although she is still trying her best to hide it. 

At the same time, one of my closest friends here seems to have had a massive breakthrough that will lead to his own transformation. He’s been a bit of a hermit these past few years and now he has a sudden desire to go out and interact with the world. 

Another friend just finished a rainbow gathering where she told me she finally got over her fear of loneliness which had been holding her back and weighing heavy on her after a breakup. 

One friend on Hive just quit an internship. Two friends lost their fathers last month. Another two had babies. One won an award for a movie and put out a new album. Another got divorced and is ready to get remarried as her son starts high school. 

As these changes occur all around me, I notice more subtle things. New expressions of traditional culture that better represent the true will and passion of the people. Voices like Gabor Mate who bring the science up to date with everything I’ve been saying all my life, that all illness is caused by emotional distress, self-repression and trauma. 

Something fundamental is changing. 

I can’t help but wonder if I’m about to step into a new version of myself as well. I feel certain changes in my body, which has been uncooperative these past few years. Will my health issues which are nearing a decade already finally be cleared up by new year?  I don’t want to get my hopes up but I’m open to the thought!  Am I preparing myself to play a larger part in this transformation?

On the money and work front things have taken a hit this year, as is the case for most people I know.  But I’ve had multiple people reach out to me about my book, my podcast and my music, and I realize I have more and more people curious about my work. 

I dream of nothing more than to spend 2 months in Asia, 2 months in Africa, and 2 months in Europe during the next two years, hopefully without giving up Japan as a base. I want to work with artists and connect friends from all over. Create and share. Collaborate. Looking at my current situation, this looks impossible, but I can see massive changes coming in the world, and not every one of them negative. I have my surf board and I’m ready to ride the wave. 

At the very least, the art and ideas that I share are less and less fringe by the day and international communities are continuing to form around similar ideas and similar art. There has never been a better time to be yourself. No need for the mask. Authenticity will reign supreme. 

I checked a map of travel requirements and it seems that as of last week (aside from the country mentioned above) most of the world is completely opened up. 

I don’t know how I’m going to do all these, all I know is that I need to keep going, I haven’t come this far for nothing. I am here to do great things and I will do them. I’m excited to see things looking up for so many people around me, despite the struggles we all seem to be going through. 

If you are reading this there must be a reason. Perhaps you are a part of this too 😉 

——-
Recent vlog:
How to do anything - I learned a language in 6 months
https://youtu.be/lueTTQTdk24
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vote details (505)
@drrune ·
$0.04
We live in unimaginable territory right now! Pattern recognition is the only means of navigating the fog. You have a LOT to offer the world and I'm certain you'll get to do more and more starting now.
👍  
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@selfhelp4trolls ·
I feel it! :-D  For both of us and many people around us too
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@kebula ·
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I can relate to your anxiety, you are not alone; I wish you best in taking your next big steps. Like you said, you have come far. I believe you can go much further. :)
👍  
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@selfhelp4trolls ·
:-) I'm sure I can and I will :-D  Thank you
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@pizzabot ·
<center>🍕 PIZZA !


I gifted <strong>$PIZZA</strong> slices here:
@selfhelp4trolls<sub>(1/15)</sub> tipped @wittyzell (x1)


<sub>Send $PIZZA tips in <a href="https://discord.gg/hivepizza">Discord</a> via tip.cc!</sub></center>
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@sofs-su ·
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Best wishes to you, may all your dreams and aspirations find new expression in the year ahead. 
👍  
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vote details (1)
@selfhelp4trolls ·
Thank you!  I am looking forward to it
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@wittyzell ·
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I'm speechless but all I can say is good luck! It's nice to hear (or in this case, read) someone talk about their future goals. Hopefully, you could meet a lot of people and connect with them. Wishing you the best! 
👍  
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vote details (1)
@selfhelp4trolls ·
$0.02
At the very least, I'm definitely someone who could make it happen now.  What the world has in store...I guess we have to see :-P  Thank you!  !PIZZA
👍  
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