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This is a personal one for me.

I've been called a quiet and reserved person my entire life. Some even mistake it for arrogance. For so long I've always hated this part of me and considered it as a weakness. I would do so badly on social conversation, especially in groups. Whenever I get invited to any group conversation I would have serious anxieties and every time I'm put into a spot I would literally boil inside uncomfortably.

I see lots of people pulling off the casual conversation so easily and wonder why I'm so different?
I would often think that my shyness held me back on everything I want, like partying, being popular in school, going on many dates, and more.

There was a phase when my parents and friends said that I needed to change my personality if I ever want to do something in life. Those words would always hurt me so bad.

I tried forcing myself into things I wouldn't do and doing so would take away my energy. 
Since most of my time was spent inside my room, I read books and use my computer a lot. I spent time reading blogs, articles, answers on Quora, and occasionally play video games.

Amidst all this, I was writing journals and short fiction. It was the only way of communication that I was comfortable at. It was the reason that kept me sane. I also noticed that I do okay-ish on chats and text messages rather than face to face conversations. I could carry the conversation on chats but be quiet when I meet the person in real life. 

It's safe to say that people around me eventually understood me, and my needs.
I gained lots of skills and hobbies over the years, but I never stopped writing. I have lots of journals that I've written in my native language. I switched to writing in English about a year and a half ago. I started writing blogs related to technology by setting up Wordpress a few months ago during which I gained interest in programming.

I now have different perspectives on life. I simply put my needs first. All those things I thought I missed out didn't matter because my interests are a bit different. I don't need to be hanging out all time. I could stay home read a book, play songs, and write a few blogs to gain the same fulfillment. 

Currently, I do quite well in a face to face conversations as well, especially in small groups. A Large group still scares me. Writing helps to keep my thoughts organized. If I have to make a phone call, trust me I have a piece of paper with me to organize my thoughts. If I have to ask for extra ketchup in a restaurant I'd already have recited my lines at least 5 times before I call the waiter. 😄

**Hope you enjoyed this little story of mine.** **I feel at home being here on HIVE without having to tell who I am and grateful to all the support I've got so far.** :)

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