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You don't get what you want. — And you don't get what you deserve. — No: you get what others give you. (So learn to take with both hands? (**GOG42**) )

That's why you want to learn to speak well. — In any size group.

Never forget that. And if that was news to you: very good. 

Learn mostly by the experience of others. It costs less. 

And the experience of other accumulates. It time binds.

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<center>—&#160;〈 &#160;1&#160; 〉—</center>

One clarification at this point: you can mostly get what you want. 

How?

Well: that happens if what you want and what people give you mostly coincides. 

Hence communication is so vitally important.

And here is a point regarding communication: *not* is a vague word. 

Very much like *is* is a vague word.

We rather have: not (A if B) is (A not if B), which is not (not A if B), and not (A if not B).

Don't confuse "You don't get what you want" with "You don't get it *if* you what it". 

(Oh yes: our ordinary language is fucked. This is precisely why we've constructed mathematical languages?)

Returning to our example: in other words, wanting is simply not a cause of getting.

Exist cases were you want something and you don't get it: — "You don't get what you want."

I do *not* mean: you don't get something because you want it.

However you *always* get what others give you: this means exactly what it sounds like: — if they give it to you, lo! you get it.

If they give it to you, you get it. No exceptions. But if you want something, you get, or you don't. So you don't get what you want. You need to do more than that. More than just want it, if you want to get it.

You need to be able to interact with people in any size group. If you can't talk to people, who's going to give what to you?

Mostly you get what others give you. If you want that, great. If not ...

This is the reason: why communication is so important.

You *always* get that which you make and give yourself. 

And you *always get* that which nature gives you.

But to each person nature is mostly other people.

Therefore some have said: ``Hell is other people'' (**SAR45**). 

But then you may say in reply: Heaven is also other people.

Communication means sharing information. 

Share well and people might share with you.

This goes double for an abundance economy and society.

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<center>—&#160;〈 &#160;2&#160; 〉—</center>

>``Whoever doesn't want to die of thirst among people must learn to drink out of all cups; and whoever would stay clean among human beings must learn and know how to wash even with dirty water.'' — **NIE83.2**

So.

Public speaking. Touchy subject.

I'm personally best off addressing very large groups. Those and very small groups. 

You know: one to five persons, or else a hundred persons. Or more.

Not good at middle sized groups. 

In a large group ... just speak very loudly, very slowly, open posture, and make eye contact with *everybody*. Yes: sweep the audience, looking at *everybody*. Meanwhile lecture. Say what you're going to say. Then say that. All as if eating a sandwich. 

Be brazen when you say it. Easier if you always have something to say. 

Speak elliptically. More concise. Easier to process. People enjoy figuring out puzzles more than just listening. Just so long as the puzzles are very easy and they always eventually figure them out.

Causes orienting (**SOK58**, **PRI71.2**, **PRI06**). Which is pleasant (**GOS54**, **SME73**, **PRI06**).

What do they like about puzzles — solving them? No: it's probably something like having solved them. Much like a writer doesn't enjoy writing, but writes all the same, because he enjoys having written. (I enjoy both.)

Then mingle with everybody afterward. Very *systematically*. 

With a very high probability there'll be some topic you can look good chatting about in most of the small groups that form from a large crowd: especially if they'd gathered first of all for a common purpose.

Interacting during or immediately after speaking to a large audience is not easy. I'm sure you've heard talks in front of an audience of a couple hundred or more and half an hour is set aside for interaction and the audience is asked whether they have any questions ... They don't. No questions.

Utter silence ... Horrible ...

That can happen even if the theme is relevant  and the speaker is good ... but was not *provocative* enough.

But enough about large groups. Let's consider small groups.

Interacting during or immediately after speaking to a large audience is not easy. I'm sure you've heard talks in front of an audience of a couple hundred or more and half an hour is set aside for interaction and the audience is asked whether they have any questions ... They don't. No questions.

Utter silence ... Horrible ...

That can happen even if the theme is relevant  and the speaker is good ... but was not *provocative* enough.

But enough about large groups. Let's now consider small groups.

In tiny groups, all the way down to two persons, the most interesting or competent person wins the attention. 

Well: in the end. Just wait a few minutes, let others talk, then speak with effect. Voice.

As usual we all heard it first from Richard Feynmann (**FEY85**).

Everybody's bored. 

Yes: most people cannot entertain themselves. 

Wright Mills said it: most persons feel their lives are meaningless and going nowhere ... because they really are going nowhere and meaningless (**MIL56**). 

Purpose means going somewhere. 

They're *not wrong*. About themselves. 

Some people are wrong and unhappy. 

Other people are unhappy because they are *not wrong*. 

They're *not wrong*. And that's their tragedy.

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<center>—&#160;〈 &#160;3&#160; 〉—</center>

Middle sized groups are too large for the last strategy to work.

If you wait, you wait until the party is over; and you're not the only interesting person there. Most probably.(Oh: and interesting means interesting to those at the gathering. Not absolutely or anything.)

Middle sized groups are also too small for the first strategy to work. 

I didn't watch Batman 1, Superman 1, Batman 2, Superman 2, Batman and Superman, Batman versus Superman, Batman loves Superman, ... and it shows on my face what I think about it, if I must discuss it. Uh oh.

Somebody tells how they cried when Batman held Superman in his arms, and gazed sadly and lovingly into his eyes ... and how she imagined Batman was PopularPoliticanTakeYourPick#1 and Superman was PopularPoliticanTakeYourPick#2 ... and you just said the film was rubbish? ... Well, then you're fucked. Just offended half your audience, and you only need to offend about five percent to lose.

It's a social invariant (**TAL18**).

Oh: please don't lynch me because I'm not interested in some movies. I'm generally busy.

No offense intended: busy. I'm buuusssy.

:_(

And heck: even producers don't watch their own films, much like editors don't read their own books. 

They mostly don't have the time; and they most don't want to do it. So they don't do it. 

Which too has been printed (**BOV89**).

And as you can imagine: cultural gaps in middle size groups are probably the toughest.

The group is too large for you to simply wait to speak and change the topic to something that makes you stand out as interesting and lead. So you must speak on the current topic if you are going to speak.

But you may be in the position of having nothing to say about that topic: especially if it's something cultural or local and you come from outside.

Yet the group is not large enough, too small, to agree, for the sake of convenience, to simply give an interesting speaker the platform and behave like an audience. (Whose attention a good speaker can then grab and hold.)

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# —&#160;[REFERENCES](https://steemit.com/writing/@tibra/standardized-references-word-count-2-100-or-revised-2018-5-31)&#160;—
Follow the ↑↑↑ link to my latest standardized references list.
Right click. Open in new tab; look up references while you read.

## ABOUT ME
I'm a scientist who writes fantasy and science fiction under various names.
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The magazines which I currently most recommend:
[*Magazine of fantasy and science fiction*](https://www.sfsite.com/fsf/)
[*Compelling science fiction*](http://compellingsciencefiction.com/)
[*Writers of the future*](http://www.writersofthefuture.com/)
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