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1. | parent_author | "" |
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parent_permlink | heart |
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author | magentagoddess |
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permlink | warriors-of-the-heart |
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title | "Warriors of the heart." |
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body | "This boy is a heart warrior.
I can remember writing this post about kids being surrounded by loving cartoons and more and still able to tap into their own heros, warriors and more.
Well, Heinrich took it there this evening!
He has been extremely angry and harsh towards me, going through massive challenges.
One of the biggest things HE needed to own was his anger.
Yesterday, after coming from the beach, he threw the big stone he found there and took home, at me. I just managed to jump out of the way.
It bounced against the window and knocked a pot plant over.
That was THE opportunity to confront it. Although it unfolded naturally the way it did.
I took the stone and put it outside. (I got angry myself and managed to hold myself in it 😁) Interesting that is was big, heavy and black.
He cried. Tears where running down his cheeks like a waterfall.
I swear, without all the knowledge I have gained over the last years I would have not been able to do what I did.
My mum thoughts would have suppressed him feeling the range of his emotions.
I gently explained the situation to him and stood my boundaries in that the anger and outbreaks towards me needed to stop. That I was scared and that it has gone worse: from socks to sausage rolls against the wall and now stones aimed towards me. (by the way: the universe throws little pepals and turns them into rocks if you don't listen! And the rock turned out a thick strong sandblock in the end. So all not AS serious as I thought it was).
He felt his feelings. He cried. He wanted the stone.
The first answers on how to respond to anger where all aggressive: hitting pillows, punching, kicking someone in the nuts, screaming, yelling. Some where constructive: drawing, hugging, talking, leaning against me, walking away, cuddle our cat.
We kept going. He poured down the tears, crying for the stone that I put outside. "How much more mum?" "Just a few more. We are almost through. What else can you do when you get angry?" I had the intention for him to get to a point where he can stand anger himself.
At some point I feel like I gave in. I stopped helping him feeling his feelings. Not sure wether he got it all out or not.
I celebrated him feeling his anger to that extend. I was SO PROUD of him!
He took a bath. I checked in with him how he was feeling and there was more: "Everytime I have big strong feelings now, I know my heart beats strong like when I am running. My heart beats in my chest and is stronger than all the strong feelings I have!" His whole posture lifted and straightened out.
Oh my!!!! Watching him expand like this expanded my heart BIG TIME.
I guess I travelled it too. Had to own my parts in it and what a relief!!! The aggression, outbursts and more towards me are now gone.
Surely we may have to practise more as it comes in waves but the biggest job is done: feelings unlocked AND returned back to love. He put fun into the space. Fun, love, communication, compassion.
Oh my! I feel like crying.
I am sure many people out there know what it feels like when you kids are experiencing challenges.
In our case, he has been told that his anger is the devil inside of him coming out. He was terrified of it and bursted out in tears feeling like a monster everytime anger arose.
He had been made feeling wrong and taught to surpress it.
On top of having to cope with the separation between his dad and I, our conflict, the fact that we are going through court (they feel it even if you are trying your best to keep it away from them!). He has A LOT going on. Thanks to the work I do and reading parenting books, I was able to help him through this. SO GRATEFUL! And happy myself that we can have fun now because that wasn't fun!
Kids act out because they have too many emotions going on.
While drawing with water colours helps, talking, playing and connecting with them, clay work and more, feeling your feelings all the way and coming out of the other side is a CRUCIAL tool for them for the rest of their lives!
He will be emotionally competend, dealing constructively with his emotions and knows that there is another side of any feeling. And there is another side to any feeling!
From a parents point of view: I had to hold my boundaries. My head wanted to pull him out, give him his stone. Telling me stories of: "Look at him, you are "letting him cry it out now like you always disagreed to!", the poor boy, help him. Release him what he is going through. You are torturing him." Plenty of those! Coupled with my own triggers and feelings that would come up. Some I tapped myself through (had I done the right thing by taking the stone outside?), some I had to own and apologise for. And I did.
I wanted to hug and hold him. I even asked but he didn't want to.
I let him. Trusting him. I knew I was right there holding him, guiding him and when the first burps came out I felt reassured in what I was doing. Haha (energy release. GOOD sign!)
It can be most challenging to hold space like this for people that are so close and dear to our heart. As I always say: interacting with family is probably the most challenging thing when it comes to relationships.
He came out knowing that his heart is stronger than all the strong feelings that come up. He knows that for life now.
He is only 6 and I had no idea of his ability to feel his feelings like that!
Personally, I feel like I saved YEARS of therapy tonight and start crying now myself out of relieve for him to live a fun and happy life now.
We did a little fire ceremony tonight, too. I explained it all to him and he decided he wanted to let go of sadness! He drew a little sad person on a piece of paper and we burned it safely together.
He is right, it truly IS time to let go of sadness.
This boy has taken it to another level today. I am deeply inspired, in owe, humbled and in tears.
The last few weeks have been full on (not just because of his anger.) and just when you accept it all and feel okay to deal with it and do what ever it takes, he does this! Anger gone.
I will check in with him if there is any anger left over the next few days. The tail ends do need to be watched before they come back around and slap you in the face.
From punching, kicking people in the nuts, wanting to jump on me, etc to the realisation that your heart is stronger than any of the strong feelings he has. 💪❤
Way to go Heinrich.
You are lighting the way.
THANK YOU Lois for teaching me what I know and all the things I have learnt from you. The two years have been very well worth it tonight.
Thanks Kimberly for sharing the parenting book with me. "Mothering our boys." It opened my eyes and heart to the fact that all his anger is, is a build up of lots of emotions.
Thanks Andrew, for holding me through my own emotions and helping me find deeper compassion for myself and my son as you pointed out the depths of what Heinrich is going through. Plus that, the more space I can hold for myself, the more I can hold Heinrich. It has all been so worth it tonight!
All these years of doing the work. Feeling like it never ends and that I am not getting anywhere: tonight it paid of. As if I put in a cent and won the jackpot!
You guys are making SUCH A DIFFERENCE in our life. Life changing!
We are all helping this little boy thrive. If that is not salutation and change enough in the world, I don't know what is.
On my knees tonight with a deeply humbled heart.
Thank you.
PS: Happiness does start with you!
Thanks to me doing the work, people around me have to shift. Either they shift out or change with you. Well, in my son's case I chose to have him with me! My detached happiness depends on it ;-)
As you shift, they shift. If your intentions and vibration is fun and happiness, blocks WILL be removed. Everything that is in the space that blocks fun and happiness will come up to be cleared.
That is what we did tonight! I felt SO MUCH closer to him tonight. In a healthy way of course. So much that has been in between us has been lifted! What a blessing.
That instantly travelled over to the man I let into my space: I will so sit with his emotions!
OMG! I just realise that this IS a reflection of the work I have done: last week I worked on my inner man and feminine. I wrote a post about it! She had to open up to be able to hold space for his aggression! Viola! She (mum) holds space for him (son) on the external now PLUS the fear of not being able to hold a man is gone because I resolved it within. 🤷♀️
So enlightening! Incredible. I hold space with happiness now because I know that you will feel closer, more connected and more when you sit with others through their feelings and your own of course.
Happy feeling your way through life.
The one thing I would have changed if I could have becomes my joy...
Lois, it's genious! Putting happiness into the space. I feel EVERYTHING that comes my way with happiness, gratitude and joy now!
Ha! Imagine the good feelings coming my way.
That is a post for another story.
This one is to honour Heinrich only. He gave me permission to share.
Our kids are more than capable to deal with what comes their way. Of course we have influence on it to a degree. At the same time: They have their own journey!
With the right tools you are able to support them through anything!
If you need support and guidance in how to shift your situation and lighten it, please send me a message.
Of course, check out the AMAZING people I tagged here as well as they are all fantastic to work with.
The right support results in success.
We are successful because we work together. 💪
What a fabulous way to work together when I think about Heinrich's realisation that our heart is stronger than any strong feeling we have.
![inbound569464773599298076.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/magentagoddess/FDAeZ3xr-inbound569464773599298076.png)
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required_posting_auths | |
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id | sm_find_match |
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json | "{"match_type": "Ranked", "app": "steemmonsters/0.7.34"}" |
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required_posting_auths | |
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id | sm_submit_team |
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json | {"trx_id":"b129ed888e7b5d55f2893183b5fcf83801b9aec5","team_hash":"15ff984478995ebfa8362e0266411db6","summoner":"starter-167-O7bje","monsters":["starter-162-peIT1","starter-157-GnKma","starter-158-6pHGl","starter-159-RrAKa","starter-161-UBsSv","starter-163-ohqD2"],"secret":"2WmF3OT2Ds"} |
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1. | required_auths | [] |
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required_posting_auths | |
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id | sm_submit_team |
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json | {"trx_id":"9d468ad2a3def611dd3cd4bfa8a7980019156041","team_hash":"62f5378bf3ce50f4f9257f0101c19c69","summoner":"starter-178-zcFm8","monsters":["C3-231-P8CW9T0ROW"],"secret":"8f1d6647df","app":"steemmonsters/0.7.34"} |
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required_posting_auths | |
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id | sm_team_reveal |
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json | {"trx_id":"2987c077e829355c4345395eed0a8a72bf75ef96","summoner":"C4-224-3P2J8BQESW","monsters":["starter-18-iXnDw","starter-60-2OFSz","starter-19-ViShI"],"secret":"o9OvQ2cA6n","app":"steemmonsters/0.7.34"} |
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required_posting_auths | |
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id | sm_submit_team |
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json | "{"summoner": "starter-224-k0Ts4", "monsters": ["starter-162-O2Ht1", "C3-107-6T46EIETSW", "starter-158-GU2gB", "C3-91-8J87L4MSO0", "C3-212-YZAJJ1RZOW", "starter-161-NI8wo"], "trx_id": "61573d98c5e538fa73be05bd3f8c3f98a39f69f9", "app": "steemmonsters/0.7.34", "secret": "kuvqnUB8Sg", "team_hash": "07afb5ce10286dfd2819bda510f0dd51"}" |
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id | sm_submit_team |
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json | {"trx_id":"cd7d35ef7467aa1602394609a52cff99e46379f9","team_hash":"a4110a1785476a79e15dc0981d949fd9","app":"steemmonsters/0.7.34"} |
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id | sm_submit_team |
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json | {"trx_id":"fe0a01b48c57ccd04a01238d275c41a3634459e0","team_hash":"39351a02221f4807350c96041bd1df21","app":"steemmonsters/0.7.34"} |
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json | {"trx_id":"f12aa81bbadd21fa29a2f516f8dec5209a596f37","team_hash":"63689f23815d81df5ad78ac87f94b448","app":"steemmonsters/0.7.34"} |
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id | sm_submit_team |
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1. | required_auths | [] |
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id | sm_submit_team |
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json | {"trx_id":"295015fc77575ddaff99a9e2649fa614d91a90f8","team_hash":"0b19d1b3c9fad6f4c63a02a6827af61e","app":"steemmonsters/0.7.34"} |
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json | {"app":"steemmonsters/0.7.34"} |
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