| json_metadata | "{"app":"musing/1.1","appTags":["love"],"appCategory":"love","appTitle":"Is it right for couples to discuss their family misunderstanding with their parents?","appBody":"<p> </p>\n<p>In my opinion, it is rarely a good idea to discuss marital affairs with one’s parents. In-laws are almost universally seen as adversaries. I don’t know of one culture where mothers-in-law are portrayed positively. Part of that negative image has to do with mother’s inability to give up their children to a spouse. They become competitors in a way. To declare any kind of internal fracture is almost always an invitation for disaster.</p>\n<p>Similar things can be said about fathers-in-law, although usually it is the female in-law image the one advertised as possessive instigators. I think that in all cultures children are parents’ most beloved possessions and even though we all know that a healthy and normal life cycle presupposes children’s separation and independence from their parents, no parent wants to see their children leave, especially to a man or women not entirely of their liking or who may make their children’s life miserable.</p>\n<p>Thus, telling about marital problems may just confirm parental fears and activate their defenses against the other party, thus aggravating the problem.</p>\n<p>Of course, there might be cases were spouses get along very well with their in-laws, in which case it might even be expected if not encouraged to tell them about their problems and most likely (since they know their children better) they will help solve them. In an ideal world that should be a common course of action. But we know that is rarely the case.</p>\n<p>It would be then a decision that will depend on the individual circumstances or the cultural/religious dictate or mandate (in case such consultations are stipulated as part of a spouse’s duties). It will up to every couple to decide whether or not telling third parties will improve or worsen the situation.</p>","appDepth":2,"appParentPermlink":"pkd2qxpaq","appParentAuthor":"jerrybanfields","musingAppId":"aU2p3C3a8N","musingAppVersion":"1.1","musingPostType":"answer"}" |
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