Viewing a response to: @jerrybanfields/pkd2qxpaq
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| author | marlyncabrera |
|---|---|
| permlink | p3s5wd8sw |
| category | musing-threads |
| json_metadata | "{"app":"musing/1.1","appTags":["love"],"appCategory":"love","appTitle":"Is it right for couples to discuss their family misunderstanding with their parents?","appBody":"<p>It will depend on three things: 1. relevance & nature of the misunderstanding, 2. frequency of consultation, and 3. purpose.</p>\n<p>Parents are like all other people: they have flaws and virtues. As any other people older than you, they’ve probably had more experiences than you in a lot of life circumstances. As any other people they may or may not love you, but as a general rule, parents care more about you than other people. As an adult, you must evaluate objectively if your parents (each of them) are reliable in terms of what you need from them. </p>\n<p>Having said that, before deciding on consulting parents, you should:</p>\n<p>1- Consider if they are wise enough in the matter (in your opinion), or at least if they are sound enough as to guide you so you can find a solution. Also, you should be careful so you won’t leave your partner or children in a situation of disadvantage before them, meaning you should never reveal what they have trusted you, unless it is an extreme situation (e.g. your son is doing drugs, robbed a house, kill somebody; or your partner has hurt you physically, etc…).</p>\n<p>2- Be your parents or anyone else, you must not go around asking for advice on private family matters. You’d be letting everybody in just too deep, and many of them would demand more information, or stick their noses in, or make you and your family the protagonists of either private or public discussions and arguments. That never ends up well; and far from solving any problem you initially had, you’d be facing many new ones.</p>\n<p>3- What do you need to consult your parents for? If it is just because you are insecure and afraid to make decisions you know you have to make, you should better see a therapist. Your parents probably are part of the problem, and you, as an adult, have to overcome it (them).If you think you need approval, you need to grow up already; your life is yours to live and to bear the consequences of the actions you take.</p>\n<p>All in all, our parents can be of great help, but you must make sure it is worth your risking your intimacy.</p>\n<p>I got married and pregnant when I was adolescent. I always kept my business to my little family of three. After more than twenty years, I have learned that sometimes you need the help and advice of a friend; sometimes your mother or father is that friend. One just needs good eye to know when is when.</p>","appDepth":2,"appParentPermlink":"pkd2qxpaq","appParentAuthor":"jerrybanfields","musingAppId":"aU2p3C3a8N","musingAppVersion":"1.1","musingPostType":"answer"}" |
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