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| 1. | | parent_author | "" |
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| parent_permlink | introduceyourself |
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| author | shawnlauzon |
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| permlink | back-from-the-what-i-presumed-was-dead |
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| title | "Back from the (what I presumed was) dead" |
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| body | "I didn't think I would be back.
It's been over 2 years since I posted on this blockchain, back in the old Steem version. I came across Hive while looking for possible solutions for a mental health project (mentioned later) and then discovered that it was a fork of Steem. I was surprised that I could use my password from Steem (although not the keys) to retrieve all of my keys, and even some HBD converted from my old Steem Dollars.
But since my HP and reputation are still so low, and I never really contributed too much, I thought I would properly introduce myself and tell a little bit about how I got here.
tl;dr I've lived a bunch of places and had a bunch of jobs as a software developer, while wanting to be more than just a coder. I got into communication and mental health, and am now facilitating activities and creating projects to help people to connect more.
## Growing up (mostly) alone
I grew up in rural Wisconsin in the United States way back before computers were a thing. My family's first computer was a Radio Shack TRS-80 Color Computer, and I learned to program BASIC. It had only 4K of RAM and we would load programs from **tapes**. Literally cassette tapes. We had to make sure the volume was set between 3 and 5 otherwise would get an I/O Error and would have to manually press the **rewind** button to get to the right location on the tape. It was insane.
*There was literally a red BREAK button*
So when people complain about internet speeds and computer speeds, I just think back to when we had a 2400 baud modem (for people like me who don't know what that means: it's 9,600 bits per second. The coffee shop wifi network I'm writing this on is 16.2 megabits/s, which is nearly 1,800 times faster). But I still get impatient.
Anyway, growing up I spent lots of time by myself, playing computer games and generally being anti-social. We lived in the country, so there was no neighborhood to hang out in, I couldn't walk to anyone's house. I remember spending a lot of time throwing a softball up in the air and catching it.
I had two sisters who would spend time doing I'm-not-sure-what-but-I-sure-wasn't-interested.
All of this alone time taught me very few social skills, and so when I went to high school, I found it difficult to make friends. And of course people teased me for my awkwardness and my big thick glasses. I think I've burnt all the photographic evidence.
I did well in school, but not amazing. I was accepted at the University of Wisconsin and continued to study computers, but what I really loved was Psychology, Astronomy, and History.
## Work life
I graduated in 1996 and started a job at IBM in Rochester, MN. It's really cold there: in fact, I visited Alaska once *in the winter* and it felt warmer in Alaska. I spent most weekends (and sometimes weeknights) with my colleagues drinking and visiting the worst club I've ever been to, Aquarius. (After Star Wars Episode 1 came out, they painted a neon pink Darth Maul on the black velvet walls.) I don't think it's open anymore, because [their last Facebook post](https://www.facebook.com/McMurphysAquarius-174010811839/) was from 2009. They boast:
> The only TRUE sports bar in Rochester, MN with a hot-night-spot dance club attached to boot!
I have no digital records of any of this, which I'm a bit sad about but mostly relieved. I'm still not sure what makes a sports bar **true**.
After 5 years I got married, moved to Austin, got divorced and started going to much better clubs (RIP [Plush](https://www.facebook.com/plushATX)). Music became a much bigger part of my life, helped by the great live music scene in Austin and the incredible South by Southwest music / film / interactive festival.
*It really does have a great music scene*
## Do I really want to be a programmer?
It was at this time that I started questioning my career. Did I really want to spend my life building software for big companies like Disney and Bank of America, so that they could siphon money from other people? It just didn't seem fulfilling. I feared that creating my own startup would be too difficult, and so I did what most people do when they don't know what to do: go back to school.
*Me, age around 35*
I was interested in how people interact in groups, and so I studied Sociology at University of Texas. I wanted to make a difference in the world, so I got accepted to the University of Maryland Public Policy program, and then decided not to follow through because I feared that my career would be full of putting a lot of effort into something, and then having it come to nothing because of politics.
A word of advice to people planning on going back to school: make sure to have a **clear vision of your goals** putting in the effort of getting there.
I still wanted to make a difference, and thought NYC was the place to do it. So in 2012 I packed up my car and moved there, not knowing anyone. I quickly learned the obvious, that New York was expensive, and so rather than follow a dream of public service without any previous experience, I got back into computers working at the [AI-based education company Knewton](http://www.knewton.com). I'm still proud of [my post explaining *n* choose *k* using an alcoholic octopus](https://medium.com/knerd/why-n-choose-k-a810ebee76d4).
## Becoming a nomad
I left Knewton after a couple years to again go back to school, this time for a BA in Psychology. And again this was a lot of work before having a clear vision of the future, and again I decided against continuing the process. Instead I ran away to the tropical island paradise of Koh Phangan in southern Thailand. I learned ecstatic dance and studied at an [infamous yoga school](https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/sep/07/under-swamis-spell-14-tourists-claim-sexual-assault-by-guru-at-thai-yoga-retreat) which was honestly a life-changing experience for me in the most positive way.
*I'm sad that I lost this shirt*
I came back to NYC, could no longer deal with the constant honking of horns, and began 6 months of travel around the US and Canada to find my new home. I wanted a place which was another country, but one that I could integrate into. Montreal was perfect: it felt *foreign* to me, but still only a 6 hour drive from NYC. And my great-great ... grandfather [Gilles Lauzon](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gilles_Lauzon) was one of the first settlers of the city, which made it quite romantic: me *coming back to home*.
But yet again, same pattern: got a job at a software company (this time at [Mylo, now Moka](https://moka.ai)), helped build a great product that rounds up purchases to the nearest dollar, and then realized that being an employee wasn't the right fit for me.
I left and became VP of Engineering at @volentix, who are building a decentralized crypto exchange. I met @helo, @transisto, and some other great crypto enthusiasts, to whom I am forever grateful. However I ended up leaving after a few months, which in retrospect was lucky because it got me to Thailand just before the COVID-19 lockdown.
## Current life
In January 2020 I flew back to Koh Phangan to attend a 6 week intensive self-development retreat. A few weeks after it finished, we were in COVID lockdown. The borders to Canada were shut to Americans so I couldn't go back there, and I hadn't lived in the US for 3 years. So I stayed.
I feel incredibly lucky to have been here when it happened. It didn't affect this island like the rest of the world: there has so far been a single case, and that was detected and quarantined immediately. Dances and other events have continued as the death count continues to raise back home.
I just started a weekly Authentic Relating Games Night event, using what I learned from my time attending and facilitating at [Authentic Montreal](http://authenticmontreal.ca). We give people the opportunity to learn and practice trust, vulnerability, and empathy in a safe space using fun, simple, games. I also plan on hosting other events to help create honest connection and healing.
I've also started thinking about how to make mental heath services accessible to anyone in the world who needs it. As my work in authentic relating has shown, we all have the capability to help each other. So I am investigating how to use the Hive blockchain to incentivize empathic listening to each other.
I will continue to post about this as my vision becomes more clear. And I look forward to learning more from this amazing community how we can create a better planet together.
♥️ shawn." |
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