I think the bigger problem with bullying is the fact that people don't really understand what the definition of the word is.  They think that kids being mean is bullying.  That's not always the case.  Sometimes kids are just mean.  We actually got in trouble at one point because our reports of bullying were low.  The person questioning it said there is no way it can be that low.  We (not me) pointed out that we only had a handful of incidents in the year that actually meet the criteria of being bullying, so yes, our numbers are that low.  People think they are experts on everything these days.  Oh, in case you didn't know what the criteria are: The behavior must be unsolicited, repeated, and there must be an imbalance of power between the person and the aggressor. If it doesn't meet all three of those, it's just kids being dicks. 

> The world is not a nicer place to live, and people are getting worse. There is so little compassion and grace in individuals, as they spend their energy maximising themselves at any cost, even if what they are getting in return for their effort, doesn't make them any better, and usually worse.

Uhm, well, all I will say is that I'm glad to see that somehow you are growing up. Maturing, we could say. And now that you are no longer an employee working for others and making rich to others. You finally have been able to change those rose-colored glasses with which you used to see things through previously.

I think we have to be vigilant. Many friends have left of their own accord and it hurts a lot not to have been able to avoid it.
I also believe that there are thousands of false positives, because today more than ever there is a delicacy in the way people are treated that makes them more vulnerable.
But depression is real with strong and disabling symptoms.
I liked your reflection, it is a very critical perspective, @tarazkp 
Greetings!

You summarized the life of many, but what's wrong with wanting to work in what does not make us happy in what we like in what motivates us I understand that life is not a whim and we will not always get what we want or dream that can lead to frustration and depression, but it is also sad to work in something just for obligation and not love.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6M-lKuPh0Q

Do you think that Trump's demand that Nato would spend 5 percent for defence is realistic?

In my opinion, it's important to acknowledge mental health is complex. Not everyone experiences depression as a simple avoidance of discomfort. For some, it's a genuine chemical imbalance (I had a sister with mental health). And while building resilience is crucial, minimizing the impact of bullying can be dangerous.

Ultimately, the conversation around mental health needs nuance. We need to find a balance between encouraging self-reliance and acknowledging the very real struggles people face. Perhaps focusing on fostering genuine connection and meaningful experiences could help us navigate these challenges more effectively.

I wish I could be a fly on the wall for many of your conversations (I'm pretty sure I have told you this before) but none more than your conversations with a shrink! I hope you perplex her, challenge her, make her think. 

Depression, anxiety, fear, loathing - all of these and more *motivate* me. I would not want to live without them.

> Her disagreements today were focused on my opinion about depression and bullying at schools, as the first I think is over-prescribed, and the second is rarely a problem, and more likely, necessary for healthy development.

I went through something similar during my school years. It is a trauma that stays with you for a lifetime.

Having seen how long some people have taken to recover from bullying in school I'm going to hard disagree with you on it being necessary for healthy development because in some of the cases I've seen it took literal decades to recover.  Not everyone deals with things in the same way.

Having said that, sometimes I wonder when I'm listening to/reading other people especially in this age of microtraumas and microaggressions.  Like for example I had a friend telling me a friend of theirs got reprimanded at work for "bullying" one of the younger workers; the younger worker had apparently been incessantly bleating and moaning about whatever it was they had to do instead of doing it, and the friend's friend apparently turned around and told them to "shut up and do your job" or something along those lines and the kid got upset and reported them.

>  all the kids with ADHD diagnoses, they don't have it

That statement is false.

I do somewhat relate to what might have possibly brought it on; I've been on some aspect of social media since the late 90s, and I have seen a plethora of people crying "bully" because they were called out for bad behaviour and were trying to use "I can't help it I have ADHD/autism" as a get out of jail free card to do and say whatever they wanted with zero consequences, and one did have to wonder if this was an actual problem they were struggling with (and even so it's a reason, never, ever an excuse, you still have to do better) or if they just wanted special treatment or something equally dumb.

While I mostly agree with what you wrote about bullying, I must say that sometimes bullying is a real thing. I never really had problem with bullying. When I was in school I didn't know what the concept of bullying was. But looking back I guess I met a classic bully. One of the first days in first grade a boy at least half a head taller than me started giving me a hard time, we fought exchanging punches and eventually wrestling on the ground. That is also how I met my best friend in school, he tried to help me in this fight. 

I was always a natural fighter and I trained in judo, sambo and boxing as a kid. In addition to training in the boxing club I had a pull up bar on my door at home and I put one of those small punching bags and was practicing my punches every time I walked by the door. So while that bully boy and my friend were much taller and bigger than me the whole time in school I fought and actually broke two teeth on that bully boy later and I was always defending my best friend from him despite both boys being bigger than me. When we grew up I was still small at 185 cm or 6'1" compared to 198 cm or 6' 5" for the other two.  So I would say I never had problem with bullying.

Fast forward about 30 years and our daughter had a real problem at school, she really was bullied, a black boy punched her in the stomach then kept kicking her on other occasions. First we tried to deal with it via official channels at school, but it wasn't helping. I tried teaching her self defense and it wasn't working either. Then we took her to tae-kwon-do and surprisingly her self confidence and kicking skills improved by leaps and bounds and one day boy kicked her again and they started an exchange of kicks to the lower body. Much bigger boy who was bullying many other kids at school stopped kicking, said that she kicks really hard and it was never a problem again. 

So the martial art I thought was not a serious fighting discipline was actually more effective than all the super effective and often brutal things (like kicking between legs and scratching at eyes) I tried teaching her.

The development of technology is one of the reasons that increases depression. We are gradually losing the habits of our hunter-gatherer ancestors. If we ask people with depression when was the last time they walked 10 thousand steps early in the morning, I think they will not respond positively.

Peer bullying is really one of the problems that needs to be paid attention to. My nephew suffers from this and does not want to go to school because of it.

Here many people wish to die before being in need of someone else's take care, which is reasonable to me. Thus, a long life does not always provide a better life.

Hmm I do in some sense love the way you approach this situation. But fo you think that humans in general could fare better off if they directed their attention to the right stuff  or if they were made to do so by compulsion...